Sound The Alarm! New "Captain America" Trailer Is Out!

LETS. FUCKING. GO, PEOPLE!

If you don’t get down with these superhero movies then you can get the hell out of America. This is what we’re all about: Explosions, fighting, spending hundreds of millions of dollars on entertainment, and killing bad guys. Truth be told, I never saw one of these Marvel movies until like a year ago because I thought I was too cool. I thought comic books were kid stuff and felt like I was making myself a grown up by refraining from them. Some people lose their virginity to feel like a man, others learn a craft, I thought not seeing a movie would suffice. But then one day I caught the first Captain America on FX and binged the shit out of the rest of them. In a row. I sat in front of the TV for like 15 hours and watched all the Captain Americas, Thors, Iron Mans, Avengers, Guardians of the Galaxy, some fucking X-Man, all that shit. I was practically a superhero by the time I got done and felt like I’d just come out of that chamber that made Captain America only instead of being a ripped Chris Evans I was fat as shit, had cavities from all the candy I’d eaten, and got winded after three seconds of throwing air punches in my living room.

So, yeah. I’m fucking pumped for this shit. Steve Rogers and Bucky out there fighting every sonnofabitch alive, MOUNT UP!