Derek Jeter Addresses The Gift Basket Rumor

Joe Buck has a new show that’s coming out on DirecTv and his first guest is Derek Jeter. Overall, it’s an odd move to have a show only on DirecTv and even odder for Jeter to waste his time going on this show, but it has to involve some kind of kick back for Hannah Davis. Look at Derek already in the lead for best husband ever.

Regardless of the fact the most people won’t be able to watch this show, Buck and Jeter danced around the gift basket rumor before finally addressing it. In the end, Jeter denied it because what else could he do? He can’t go on national TV and say “Yup, I bang chicks and sign autographs.” He worked too hard to keep his life private to just give it all up and turn into Jack Parkman on some shitty Joe Buck show. If anything he needs to do that on Center Stage so Comcast is forced to bring YES back.

The thing is, I want this rumor to be true. We all do. But there is just no way that it goes down the way we’ve all heard. Does something weird happen at the end of his one night stands? Of course it does, but that doesn’t mean he’s giving out a gift basket of HIS OWN memorabilia. If anything he gives out his teammates memorabilia so things couldn’t get traced back to him. I would imagine it would tie directly back to the performance and activities that just occurred. Something like this:

Paul O’Neill = That was a gritty and intense session. A few lamps probably got broken.

Bernie Williams = Good for a while but lasts a bit too long and said she was officially leaving a little too late.

ARod = It wasn’t a needle but something went in your butt.

CC = He was drunk and she was fat.

Shane Spencer = You were a platoon fuck and he swapped you out for a replacement to finish. (Probably a Spanish girl so you get some Ricky Ledee stuff too)

Mariano = You closed it out in style. Likely the face.