Highlights From Internet 1.0: Shovel Head
As part of my crusade to rebuild the internet we need to reteach ourselves how the World Wide Web once was. We’ve got a chance to start fresh and begin again with things being funny. A chance to avoid the same mistakes we made that led us to the internet being nothing but a cesspool of whining and being offended. So over the next couple days I’m gonna be sprinkling in some of the highlights of Internet 1.0. The early days when we didnt take everything for granted.
Our first highlight is Shovel Head. Perhaps the simplest internet clip of all time. 2 seconds long. Kid gets whacked in the head with a shovel. Looks like he probably meant to fake it but didnt. A loud gong, the victim shrieks in pain, the culprit shrieks in horror, annnnnd…FIN. When I first watched this I didnt question its authenticity. I didnt assume I was being pranked by a late night TV host. I didnt worry that it promoted violence. I just fucking laughed at the kid from King of the Hill bashing he’s friends skull in with a shovel. Roughly 16, 17 years later we were blessed with Shovel Fight.
I like to think that somehow this was made possible by the original Shovel Head Duo. Like the original Shovel Head was The Constant as Penny was to Desmond in Lost. In the space time continuum, the first Shovel Head caused a butterfly effect to lead to the Shovel Fight. Flash forward to the future and people are still getting destroyed by shovels.
BONUS HIGHLIGHT – Lighting Fart On Fire Gone Wrong
Even like 1999 KFC knew this was fake but I still just laughed my dick off. It was a time when you didnt have to worry about internet credibility. We were in a Safe Space where you could just laugh at something if you wanted to and nobody would call you out for thinking its real. Seriously thats one of the lamest things about the demise of the internet. People legitimately think they are better than you if you get duped by a silly video or something. We’ve all turned into such faggots.
So send me any of your favorite memories from Internet 1.0. Email me kfc@barstoolsports.com or tweet me @KFCBarstool with links to videos/stories. If you cant find them send me a description and I’ll see if I can find it. Obviously these have gotta be some real throwbacks. Lets go back to a simpler time. Remember how to have fun again.