Oakland Raiders Linebacker Ray Ray Armstrong Is Being Investigated For Teasing A Police Dog In Pittsburgh, The Raiders Are Officially Back

Listen I’m not going to sit here and defend Ray Ray Armstrong. He’s an asshole and anyone that fucks with dogs, whether they be police dogs or not, deserves to be reprimanded and possibly put in jail. Dogs are cooler than humans and blah blah blah, we all know how it works. What I will say though is that if you’re a Raiders fan this has to be the single greatest news you have heard in the past 30 years. The big bad Oakland Raiders are officially back. All those losses, being the laughing stock of the NFL, having JaMarcus Russell or Terelle Pryor or Kerry Collins, all of that is gone. We talk about how you rebuild culture in the NFL, and for 31 teams it’s about getting quality guys in the building and guys that want to compete. Well for the last team, the Oakland Raiders, it’s about restoring that old school swashbuckling pirate life. And nothing exemplifies that quite like your linebacker teasing a dog before a game. Those are the bad boy Raiders and if you’re a fan of football you know the bad boy Raiders don’t mess around. The second they start teasing dogs is the second they start winning Super Bowls. Jack Tatum, Kenny Stabler, Al Davis, John Madden Ted Hendricks, those are guys that would get in a barking match with a dog and win.  I’m not joking when I say the Raider franchise just got it’s biggest victory this century. Cue the music.

PS

I love how this reporter had to explain to us that messing with a police animal is a crime like we all haven’t seen half baked a million times.