SMH- Most people would choose to spend their honeymoon unwinding on a tropical beach, or meandering down the Italian coast, or ensconced in a luxury penthouse somewhere. But American man Spencer Reilly sought out cage-diving off Gansbaai in South Africa and probably got more than he bargained for. In a video posted to YouTube, a great white shark is seen chasing a string of bait straight into the underwater cage and locking its teeth around one of the cage’s bars before swimming away. The animal’s mouth stops just centimetres from the group inside the cage. “Holy shit!” a woman is heard to exclaim.
As much as I wanna throw this onto the pile of Reasons To Never Get Into Any Body Of Water I just can’t. Staring death in the face like that has to be a feeing unlike any other. You know the scene in Pulp Fiction where Vincent slams the adrenaline needle into Mia’s heart? Of course you do. It’s one of the most famous scenes in movie history. Well I’m guessing a shark sprinting directly at your face and wanting blood is like that adrenaline needle being rammed into your heart but times a billion. There’s only a handful of people who have gotten to experience that feeling. And most of the people who got experience it, didn’t get to experience it for very long because they were busy being digested by the shark’s stomach. Epic is an overused word in the Internet Era but that was fucking epic. No doubt in my mind that honeymooning couple went back to their hotel and had the best sex of their relationship. Possibly the best sex in the history of sex. Because there’s normal honeymoon sex and then there’s we-just-survived-almost-getting-our-faces-ripped-off-by-a-shark honeymoon sex.