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Harvard Orders 13,000 Condoms and 1,200 Bottles of Lube To Gear Up For Sex Week Featuring The "Work Hard, Fuck Hard" Event

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The College FixHarvard University will soon mark its annual “Sex Week” observance, which this year features a workshop on how to navigate sex involving bondage and sadomasochism in the dorms – complete with whips and floggers.

The weeklong observance also boasts “13,000 condoms and 1,200 bottles of lube” to distribute.

The Ivy League institution will host the workshops starting this Sunday and continuing through Nov. 14, events “dedicated to empowering the Harvard community to explore their experiences with love and sex by providing HarvardCondomscomprehensive programming addressing a wide range of issue relating to sex, relationships, dating, sexual health, and sexuality,” according to its website.

In preparation, an adult industry company sent the college “13,000 condoms and 1,200 bottles of lube,” a fact touted on Harvard Sex Week’s Facebook page with the caption: “Sex week is really gearing up!”

13,000 condoms and 1,200 bottles of lube…just another weekend for Arizona State, but for Harvard it means the start of yet another Sex Week. That magical time of year when all the nerds drop their knapsacks in the library and flock down from the hills to get their yearly dose of sex and learn about all the things they see on their computers – boobs, vaginas, BDSM, anal, all that good stuff. Always a highly anticipated event, for good reason.

But, as always, things get a little too weird.

Additional Sex Week sessions are slated to focus on masturbation, sex and religion, consent, feminist porn, sex letter writing, sex toys, “Decolonizing Desire,” and others topics.

The description of the “Work Hard, Fuck Hard: The Guide to BDSM in the College Dorm Room” event, set for Nov. 15, asks on its Facebook page: “Want to get kinky in the bedroom but don’t know how to bring it up? Disappointed by Fifty Shades of Grey but not sure what BDSM is really all about? Join us for a discussion on what it’s like to be part of the BDSM scene, as well as some cool demonstrations with whips, floggers, and more!”

Seriously what’s everyone’s obsession with 50 Shades of Grey? We’re still talking about that? And what’s feminist porn? Is it like Naughty Office except when the hot secretary is about to get down on her knees in the boss’s office she whips an employment contract out of her skirt pocket and launches into a lecture on equal pay? Blue balls city. And I don’t know what “Decolonizing Desire” is but it sounds like some manifest destiny white-guilt bullshit to me.

Sex Letter Writing though, I could get down with that – if thinking about Penthouse Letters doesn’t take you back to the good old days, you don’t appreciate the simple things in life.

Of course all those Harvard kids feel the need to rationalize it as if it’s some deep movement for their dissertations.

The Sex Week website features “student voices” expressing support.

“I support Sex Week because I think sex should be about pleasure and mutual fulfillment, not shame,” said one.

“I support Sex Week because I want to live in a more touch-fluent world, one in which people aspire to be good at sex the way they aspire to be good at sports and school,” stated another.

Whatever you say you little horndogs. You want to learn about butt stuff plain and simple. Nothing to be ashamed of. Word Hard, Fuck Hard, that’s the motto.