I Have A Big Problem With The Hot New Selfie Face Being Called The "Fish Gape"

(Source) — I remember a time when there were only two options for facial expressions in photos: smiling and accidental blinking. Nowadays, if you scroll through your Instagram feed, there’s a new pose: It’s open-mouthed and slightly toothy. It’s the cooler, more flattering replacement for the duck face, and it’s called “fish gape.”

If you know anything about me you should know I’m not a Selfie guy. I’ve got an ugly iPhone camera face (again, not an ugly person. Totally not. My beauty just doesn’t shine through those cameras) and I’m way too self-conscious to blatantly take pictures of myself in public, that’s not a recipe for a big selfie taker.

But you can’t call a trend a “fish gape.” That’s the most disturbing phrase I’ve ever heard in my life, and in elementary school we used to spend recess just standing in a circle and saying gross things and swears. So, yeah, I’ve heard some shit. Yet “fish gape” makes me want to puke. Gape doesn’t mean an open mouth anymore, it’s been reappropriated. Kind of like how black people took back the N word or how gay doesn’t mean happy anymore. Gape is an open asshole. That’s it. To use it in any other context is like a person who calls themselves “anal,” you better be prepared to really prove it. So the new “fish gape” trend literally is an open asshole with a stinky vagina waft. That’s what you’re saying your mouth looks like. It is NOT cute and you absolutely cannot let it become a thing.

PS – Open mouth with a blank stare on your face is literally how you pretended to be retarded. Taking a phone, pointing it at yourself, and taking pics where you look retarded is quite the move.