The Family Of The Jets Security Director Wants Tom Brady To Break His Legs, Tear All The Ligaments In His Knee, And Die A Slow And Painful Death

(CBS) – During the week 7 matchup between the Jets and Patriots, the Jets’ Director of Security, Robert Mastroddi, contacted NFL security about the presence of ‘suspicious’ individuals standing near the Patriots’ bench. NFL security responded and questioned the three men, who are employees of Kraft Sports, which is also owned by team owner, Robert Kraft. Part of the three men’s responsibilities include controlling the in-stadium entertainment as well as ensuring the performance of the referee’s microphone. Mastroddi didn’t buy the latter reason and thought that the ref’s mic would be controlled by league personnel. However, Mastroddi was incorrect in his assessment as the NFL confirmed that ref’s mic is handled by team personnel and not the NFL.

I’m not even remotely offended or surprised by this. In fact, I love it. Of course Robert Mastroddi’s kids hate Tom Brady. Of course they want him dead. Every night when dad comes home from work in a shitty mood, there’s only one person to blame: Thomas Esward Patrick Brady, Jr. He’s the bane of their existence, the thorn in their side, and the pebble in their shoe. Whenever pops is grumpy at the dinner table, it’s Tom’s fault. You know how when you were a kid you just knew when dad came home pissed and it ruined your night? You’d be scared to ask to hang out with friends, scared to watch TV or look like you were being lazy? So you’d just sit in your room and pretend to do homework? Well that’s been the Mastroddi kids’ entire life. Night after night holed up in their room, hiding from the wrath of dad. Only difference is they know exactly what’s bothering him: it’s Tom Brady and the New England Patriots. So no, I don’t blame them and I’m not appalled by this. I think it’s great. I’m glad we ruined your childhood and haunt your brain. Let that hate run through your veins, it gets me off.

h/t Patriots50