Tennessee Fires Ken Whisenhunt So Of Course Chip Kelly Will Be Traded To The Titans

Now all of this is assuming Chip Kelly can get away from his contractual commitments in USC, Texas, and Maryland first. He might as well stop Colin Kaepernick’s flight to Philly in mid-air because there’s no point in him coming to the Eagles now, too. Chip’s going to be a Titan (if he can get there before Cowher and Gruden do). Why? Because that’s where his golden fluffer Marcus Mariota is under contract. It’s impossible for either of those two to win, prosper, and love without each other. It’s what we call, destiny.

I mean, forget about the fact Chip Kelly has 100% control with the Eagles. A fact people routinely ignore is more rare than a unicorn and/or happiness in North Philly for a 3rd year coach without any prior NFL experience. Also, throw away Chip’s record of 23-16 with essentially 3 different QB’s, all who were initially brand new to his system. He has proven he can win without “His Guy”. Oh, and don’t worry about it would take a literal first born that may be the Messiah himself to make Jeffrey Lurie trade away his hand picked prince. I’m not discounting it’s happened before. Oakland shipped Jon Gruden to Tampa Bay in exchange for 2 first rounders, 2 second rounders, and a cool $8 mill. Tampa won the SB the next year while Oak lost to them in the big game…and then proceeded to not have a winning season since. Would Chip want to be with Mariota? OF FUCKING COURSE. But there’s a little thing called reality everyone likes to ignore because it’s not conducive for their pageviews/ratings.

Bottom line: It ain’t happening. The Philly sports talk scene has the attention span of a coked up squirrel with just about as much worthy material, so expect a lot of this discussion. But Chip’s not going anywhere. If anything, how about the Eagles fire off cash, picks, and limbs to the Titans in exchange for Mariota? Who knows if the Titans next coach is going to want St. Marcus for his system. Philly just might be able to have nice things for once.