Sometimes You Just Have To Throw Knives At Your Teen Son For Eating All The Pork Chops

 
DAYTON — A 57-year-old woman is jailed for allegedly attacking her teenage son with a knife. Officers were called just before 3 p.m. Saturday to Good Samaritan Hospital, where a 15-year-old stabbing victim said his mother attacked him during an argument over food. The teen’s aunt told police her sister became angry because the night before she made pork cops. After dinner, four were packaged for later meals. However, when she got up Saturday, three were gone and her son lied about eating them. She then began to throw knives at the boy, according to a Dayton police report. The teen said his mother had been drinking, and that he tried to run because “I had knives coming at my face.” He said a foot-long kitchen knife hit him on his thumb, cutting it open. The teen called his aunt to take him to the hospital, where his cut required stitches, the report stated. At Yolanda Veasley’s apartment in the 900 block of Neal Avenue, police saw a knife the size described by her son in the sink with dried blood stains on it. On the kitchen counter was a white towel that was soaked in blood. Veasley told police she threw the knife after her son had knocked her down. When the officer said that didn’t justify throwing a deadly weapon at her son, she said “yeah, you’re right,” according to the report. Vealsey was booked into the Montgomery County Jail on suspicion of felonious assault. She is scheduled to appear in court Monday morning, according to online jail records.

If you asked me her name, I would immediately say Yolanda. She screams Yolanda. There is no more Yolanda-y person in the world than this Yolanda. And ol’ pube head went straight up Golden Eye throwing knives on her son, and it’s hard to blame her. You can’t eat pork chops so carelessly like that. There is a price to pay. However, I will say this: She should have taken it as a compliment that her pork chops were so tasty that he needed to eat 3 more of them. That means she did a good job. There’s few better feelings in the world than cooking something and not fucking it up. It’s why I stick to the 3 things I can actually make decently and do delivery for everything else. Grilled cheese? I’m your chef. Something that requires actual skill? Hard pass. I won’t be caught in a million years making a pork chop. But if I make a grilled cheese and my roommate eats it, he better believe I’m going throwing knives on his ass, maybe even proximity mines too.