Douche Muscles Gets Pepper Sprayed By Bouncer, Decides To Take Out On 7-11's Milk Section

Move over Johnathon Papelbon, Kayne West, and whatever spawn of Will and Jada Smith decided to talk today, we’ve got a new Lord of the Douche on our hands. Anyone who acts like a dick enough to warrant that kind of action by a bouncer definitely deserves liquid fire to the face. He only backs it up by going shirtless into a 7-11 and stealing himself a bukaki shower. And what was that meathead moan? A mating call for anyone with fake tits, a tramp stamp, and Daddy issues? Shocked we didn’t see a stampede of syphilis come galloping its way into the store at the end.

Still somehow less of a loser than those punks who smash milk on purpose. Forget Juvi, send them to the Gulag.