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Fuck This Old Guy Who Says Hes A Mets And Royals Fan

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LohudMy friends and family think I’m crazy. My grown-up son feels like I’ve abandoned him. How is it, they wonder, could I possibly not be 100 percent behind the Mets in World Series, considering the passionate, emotional, avid Mets fan I’ve been for most of my life? The truth is, I’ll be almost 50-50 neutral, from the time the first pitch was tossed at 8:07 p.m. Tuesday night, right on through the to end. How so? I’m a “lifer” of a Mets fan, grew up on Long Island, now living in Westchester. As a 9-year-old, my Dad took me to Shea Stadium for the Game 5 clincher of the ’69 World Series. I still have my program and a piece of turf from “our old dump” of a stadium to prove it. I’ve been to Kansas City exactly once in my life and I’ve never stepped foot in Kauffman Stadium. But as huge a Mets fan as I’ve been all these years, they’ve always been my National League team. My American League team, dating all the way back to their inception in ’69, has been the Kansas City Royals. Back in the late ’60s, like most of my friends in grades 3, 4, 5, etc., I was an avid baseball card collector and a big fan. I knew the players well, went to occasional games, watched many on TV. When Major League Baseball expanded into Kansas City, Seattle, Montreal and San Diego in ’69, and I started getting that season’s baseball cards, I took a liking to the players the Royals obtained in the expansion draft: Bob Oliver, Fran Healy, Moe Drabowsky, and a certain future legend named Lou Piniella…. These were damn good players for an expansion team to get, I thought. And being a 9-year-old at the time, I must admit I liked their name and logo too, but I like to think my primary reason I made them my A.L. team was their roster. In fact, they were the only one of those four teams not to finish in last place that year in the then-new divisional format. As much as I’ve endured the Mets’ heartbreak — the ’73 World Series loss, the ’88 NLCS loss, the 2000 World Series loss, the ’06 NLCS. loss —  I also endured the pain and heartbreak of the ’77 and ’78 Royals’ ALCS playoff losses to the Yanks, and the ’80 World Series loss. My “last hurrah” would take place in ’85 and ’86, when the Royals, then Mets, won the World Series. Although I mostly “slept” through the next 29 years of Royals doldrums, I was probably one of very few New Yorkers who enjoyed their amazing ride last year. But now here we are in unchartered waters. After 46 years, my dream has come true and two of my favorite teams, who I’ve so passionately rooted for over the years, are meeting in the World Series. So who do I root for? Nobody. I will just sit back and enjoy whatever happens. I’ll probably lean slightly (maybe by a 51-49 ratio) toward the Mets since I would love to go to the victory parade and I doubt I’d be compelled to buy a plane ticket out to KC.

ENOUGH. I’ve had enough. Everyone has become a big fucking loser when it comes to being a fan. I got Barstool fans saying I was too mean to another blogger, I got Yankees fans rooting for Mets fans, and now I’ve got this fucking guy saying hes a fan of both the teams in the World Series so he’s just not gonna root for anyone. Like a goddam mom when her sons play each other in Little League. What the fuck is going on around here? Rooting for your team always has been and always should be a completely unreasonable, over the top, overly emotional commitment and connection to a bunch of strangers just playing a game. You’re supposed to cry and punch a wall or the guy next to you when you lose. You’re supposed to celebrate and also probably cry when they win. You gloat, you mope, you talk shit, you say stuff you dont mean, and every game feels like life or death. Thats what the fucking point of being a sports fan is. Anger. Rivalry. Joy. Hate. Happiness. All that shit. What the fuck is it with everyone out here these days with a goddam level head? Acting like rational adults? Where is the fun in that?

Every time Pres “drinks my tears” or I get flooded with tweets saying I should kill myself when the Mets do poorly, I think to myself “This is the way its supposed to be.” When JJ says “go fuck yourself, worst of luck tonight” because he’s a Yankees fan, I almost smile. Thats ABSOLUTELY how it should be in New York and I wouldnt have it any other way. I’m hear to either crash and burn or bask in the glory. No fucking in between nonsense. Paul Miller’s little song and dance here about being a Royals and Mets fan makes me want to fucking puke. Everyone has their #1 team. Then you’re entitled to a team from the opposite league when your team is out of it. But there’s no real 50/50 split. There’s no 51/49 garbage. Its like in the NFL when they say if you have 2 quarterbacks you have no quarterbacks. If you root for 2 teams like this guy says he does, then you root for zero teams.

Pick a team. Root for them. And be an asshole about it. Be an idiot about it. Otherwise you’re just being lame.