Remember That Terrifying Niagara Falls Mascot Totes McGoats? Turns Out The Guy They Hired Is A Convicted Heroin Dealer

NIAGARA FALLS – It turns out that Totes McGoats has a checkered past – as a heroin dealer. The mysterious man tapped to wear the Totes McGoats headwear last week to promote recycling in the city of Niagara Falls was James L. Dolson, 50. Dolson pleaded guilty on June 24, 2014, to third-degree criminal sale of a controlled substance for selling heroin out of his car to an undercover informant. He was arrested on Dec. 13, 2014, at 68th Street and Buffalo Avenue in Niagara Falls and sentenced to the diversion program, which reduced the felony charge to a misdemeanor if he completed the court-supervised program. Contacted Friday, Dolson admitted that when he was charged last year, he was in a low place in his life, after his brother died. But he said he has been turning his life around and is both embarrassed for his family and upset to have to deal with the attention that serving as the mascot is bound to bring him.

Totes!  Remember this guy?  What a life this guy has led huh? He went from dealing heroin to being the scariest mascot in the world. I don’t have a problem with this ex-heroin dealer getting hired to be Totes McGoats.  The guy paid his debt to society and is trying to get back on his feet. Works for me. We’re country of second chances.  I will say this though, the people who hired him are kinda dumb.  They roll out this new mascot who, by all accounts, is terrifying.  Just look at him. He has tormented my dreams every night since I laid eyes on him. He’s a whacked out goat in a turquoise shirt wearing murdery garden gloves whose tongue is hanging out. And is he wearing a turtle neck?  What the fuck? The fastest way to get people to feel safe around a mascot like that is to maybe hire somebody who didn’t get popped for selling heroin to an undercover informant less than 12 months ago.  That feels like that’s Mascot 101. When you introduce a new mascot who looks like he eats human souls be sure that he hasn’t been in jail recently for slinging heroin. The Totes McGoats legend grows.

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h/t pow