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Shoutout To Lamar Odom For Almost Dying And Pulling The Greatest "Let's Get Back Together" Move Of All Time

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As a man who’s been dumped my share of times, I gotta tip my cap to Lamar today. That’s how you do it right there, folks. You can try you tears, try your “I’ll change!” soliloquies, try 3 AM drunk calls and texts where you tell her how much you miss her. But how often do those work? Because I’m an 0fer with all of them.

 

But Lamar? He knows the move. You want to make this divorce official? Fine, I’m gonna go OD on blow and Viagra in a whorehouse. Just try leaving me after that! The trick is that you gotta make her think she’s losing you forever to realize how much she loves you. If she cries while you’re dying in bed with your dick stinking like ugly hooker then that’s love, man. That’s undeniable love and she’ll recognize it too. She’ll dump her boyfriend who just signed a 200 million dollar sneaker deal and stick by your side. Bam, tricked her into falling for you all over again. The ol’ fake die at the Bunny Ranch move, right under our nose the whole time. Gonna text my ex right now and tell her to come to the hospital, I went on Backpage then swallowed 10 Horny Goat Weeds and she needs to come back ASAP. I’ll probably be engaged by noon.

 

 

That’s how you get back in when the stock is high, too. Lamar got divorced from this chick

 

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Then convinced this one to take him back

 

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