Did Mike Ditka Fart Live On Air Last Night? Probably Yes, And Everyone Should Thank Him For It

I know that sounded like a fart sound effect. Like someone was sitting in the control room pressing the whoopie cushion button and setting Coach Ditka up. But you know what? I think it was a real fart and more importantly I don’t think Ditka gives a fuck. He’s at that age and stature now where he’s like an old leaky bicycle tire. Fart permanently emanating from his body.  Sometimes you sit on the bike and it’s more pronounced and sometimes it’s just a simple SBD but Coach Ditka is basically in a perma-fart stage, a fart halo, and I love it. Farting is a social taboo when you’re younger and less accomplished but Ditka is neither of those things. He deserves respect and he deserves the right to fart wherever and whenever he pleases. Cris Carter should be thanking God this morning. Ditka farted on him, outside of a christening I can’t think of a more spiritual moment in this world.

Also if you’re in the “he didn’t fart” camp I’ll point out two simple facts.

1. Cris Carter’s “I just got farted on” face mixed with Ditka’s “yeah I just farted” face. Perfect screengrab.

2. Sunday was Ditka’s birthday, everyone knows the day after your birthday is Fart City. Sorry for being born I guess?

PS

Good time to re-post my Ditka fart story