Dude Getting Knocked The Fuck Out In The First Round Is Monday In A Nutshell

Sports imitating life right there. That guy getting knocked the fuck out in the first round is the exact feeling you had when the alarm went off this morning. It hits like a ton of bricks. Mondays at work shouldn’t start until noon to ease people back into it. You know how when you buy a goldfish you have to acclimate it to the new water by putting the plastic bag you bought it in into the fish bowl?  Well humans need that too. You can’t just throw us back into the working world after a weekend full of debauchery and chaos. Give us some time to wade back in and get used to the ice cold water that is employment. Come to think of it, that needs to be Kanye’s presidential platform in 2020. No work on Mondays until noon. Or do people have today off because it’s Columbus Day? I’m never sure if that’s a real holiday or not.  If you have today off then your morning is probably more like this

But more than likely you’re at your desk right now. Stay strong. Dodge those Monday punches as best you can. Inject some coffee directly into your temple and suck today’s dick.