Granny In a Christmas Sweater Arrested For Mailing Cookies Laced With Poison and Laxatives

WTNH – A 72-year-old New York woman was arrested for lacing cookies with poison and mailing them to a person. After a lengthy investigation, police say Joanne Jones mailed a package of cookies that were laced with mouse poison and a laxative to a Stillwater resident in March. The recipient of the package did not eat the cookies but instead called police. “The defendant’s actions created a risk of serious physical injury to the victim,” Stillwater police said on their Facebook. Jones recently surrendered to police where she was charged with reckless endangerment. She was released with an appearance ticket for court.

Granny came up with the most diabolical way to kill a person I’ve ever read. Making a person shit themself while dying of rat poison has to take the cake. Just laying in puddles of your own shit, crawling to the bathroom as the rat poison slowly kills you, while you’re still eating delicious home made chocolate chip cookies. Because you know you can’t eat just one, nobody does. It’s a delicious, excruciatingly painful, and absolutely vial way to kick the bucket. And all the while, granny is over there in her cute as a button Christmas sweater thinking she got away with it. Talk about hiding in plain sight. How can you look at a sweet lady like that and expect her to be capable of terrible things? Think about that one, #TeamAdnan.

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