Barstool Golf Time | Book Tee Times & Earn Free Barstool Golf MerchDOWNLOAD NOW

Advertisement

Man Has Been Sleeping On His Lawn For 6 Months Because His Wife Kicked Him Out But Won't Divorce Him Because She Doesn't Want To Give Him Any Money

 

Screen Shot 2015-10-07 at 12.29.09 PM

 

 

 

Yeah, if the roles were reversed then we’d be screaming that the husband is an asshole and there would be countless foundations putting the wife up. But, guess what? That’s not how this one is playing out so it’s funny.  I respect the shit out of Mrs. Khan here because this is how you marital dispute. None of the mediation bullshit where you agree to give the other person the stuff they love, no wishing your husband the best and saying that you still love each other. Motherfuck all that. Get your no good ass out on the front lawn to sleep and get infested with maggots. No food for you, no drink for you, no nothing for you. You think you deserve half of my fortune? Fine, we’ll just never get divorced. I won’t let you in the house and I won’t file. I’ll bring all the new guys I’m fucking right by you every night while you waste away in the sun, marooned on an island in suburbia.

 

That’s how you send a message and that’s how you break up with someone. Don’t sugarcoat it with the let’s still be friends nonsense, take away their will to live. Piss on their soul. Everyone wants to win the breakup and, though the final score will never be official due to the lack of divorce, I think the lady sleeping in the mansion has a strong lead on the homeless guy eating mulch under a palm tree.