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Video Of The "Cake Crush" Sex Tape Made By The Greek Orthodox Priest Surfaces

Yesterday I brought you the Greek Orthodox Priest Embroiled In Cake Crush Porn Controversy. Today that video has surfaced. And I couldnt be more thrilled/simultaneously disappointed with it.

I’m disappointed because I was expecting Cake Farts. I legit thought this girl was going to be placing her ass on a freshly baked, fully frosted cake. What we ended up getting was so much less than that…yet in a way…so much more. This chick squashing a Little Debbie cake is like Cake Farts To Go. Its a single serving size of Cake Farts. Its a pretty pathetic cake. Its like one of those no name angel food pound cakes at the register at the gas station that NOBODY ever buys. Those cakes have been sitting there since like 1997. And I always wonder “Who the fuck would buy this random, single serving size pound cake instead of a donut or a chocolate bar or the millions of other treats and pastries to choose from.”

Well now I think I got my answers. Greek Orthodox Priests with Cake Crush fetishes. Those pathetic little cakes sit on the rack for years just waiting to be scooped up and inevitably smothered by some chick’s ass (her words, not mine). Its so much less of a production than what I envisioned, but its so sad that it actually becomes more than I ever imagined. I mean this could genuinely be the saddest screenshots in porn history:

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This sad little individual serving cake waiting to be smushed and a fat old man in the mirror staring at the cake not even looking like he’s enjoying himself. Looks like on the inside he just let out a big sigh and is like “I can’t believe this is the kinda shit I need to get off. This doesnt even make any fucking sense. She didnt even take off the wrapper.” She seems pretty into it though. Narrating the whole event and standing up on the dresser in heels and shit. Chick got downright dangerous for this cake crush. Went the extra mile. You’d like to think eventually they put the cake away and just have sex but I can envision a scenario with this old guy pops off just to this cake and thats the end of this sex tape.

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Some real weird stuff, folks. Things like this make me feel better about myself though. Like no matter how weird and perverted I get, I dont get down with this shit. Today is a win for us regular perverts.