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Pope Forces John Boehner Into Retirement

 

Listen some guys just know when to go out on top. Seinfeld. Rivera. Boner. These guys all realize they’ve reached the pinnacle and you call it a day before you fade out. Just end it on a high note and ride off into the sunset. Thats what happened to Boehner when he met the Pope. He turned the faucets on and realized he was in the presence of Divine Greatness. Once you’ve experienced Divine Greatness like that you cant just go back to normal every day life. I wouldnt be surprised if Boehner actually kills himself. Not because his life isnt great, just because he needs a taste of that heavenly divinity once again. Once you’ve met il Papa theres only one person higher than him to meet, and thats J.C. Normal life on earth just aint gonna cut it for Boehner. Its either Pope or bust for him, or he’s moving on to the Big Guy. Enough with these mere mortals.