I Love How The Pope Barely Speaks English

ABC News – As Pope Francis delivered his address on the South Lawn of the White House this morning, the pontiff spoke in English, albeit slowly and with a heavy accent. His Holiness, who is Argentinian born, is a native Spanish speaker. He also speaks fluent Italian. Some other languages he is comfortable speaking are German, French and Portuguese. But not English. Indeed, English is a language he struggles with greatly, which he openly admits. “My English is poor!” he exclaimed while on a papal visit to Asia, according to the Wall Street Journal.  However, English is not a new language for the pope. Years before he was the pontiff, Francis went to live in Dublin, Ireland during the winter of 1980. Francis, then 43, attempted to learn English for the first time. According to the Irish Independent, Pope Francis borrowed 14 euros to buy languages tapes to practice. “The hardest [language] for me has always been English. Above all, the pronunciation, because I don’t have an ear for it,” Pope Francis said, the Washington Post reported. Ahead of his trip to the U.S., Pope Francis prepared by brushing up on his English. “He’s been practicing for months now,” said Helen Osman, a key planner of the pope’s visit for the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops, told the Washington Post. “It’s very important to him that he clearly communicates what he’s trying to say.” The first time the pope spoke in English publicly was in October 20, 2013 in a video message. The remainder of the time that he is in the U.S., Pope Francis will deliver three more speechesin English, the rest will be in Spanish.

The Pope stood before Congress today, and he gave a speech that sounds more like the illegal alien who’s taking your delivery order over the phone. Its like when theres a Mexican dude working on your apartment and hes trying to ask you questions and you just got no clue what he’s saying. Pope just dont give a fuck. He speaks like 10 languages, none of them English. He speaks Spanish, Italian Portuguese, French, German, Ukrainian and something called fucking Piedmontese. Peidmontese! That is some made up shit. But hes fluent in it. But english? Nah. He’s all set. Most important language on earth but I’ll just kinda suck at it and still become the Most Powerful Man On Earth. You know how the Vatican is like its own country that lives by its own rules? Thats just like Pope Frankie. Dont need to speak your language. Dont need to play by your rules. Gonna roll up on the Capitol as the first pontiff to ever speak before Congress and say whatever I want. You may not understand a lick of it. You might need subtitles. But make no mistake, I will be saying whatever the fuck I want. Fuck your politics, fuck your language and fuck yo couch!

I’m Pope Francis! King Kong aint got shit on me!