Goddam I need to be with these old birds tailgating for Il Papa. We’d be like the ultra groupies getting to the concert early for a chance to meet the band. Maybe get to hang out on the Pope’s tour bus. Maybe go backstage with him at the Garden when he does Mass at the Worlds Most Famous Arena. I don’t fuckin care that I’m not a nun, because I’m definitely a Pope groupie and I love a good tailgate. I’ll throw on a habit right fuckin now, show up to that parking lot with a keg, and blast “I Will Follow Him” from Sister Act. I’ll tailgate my dick off with these nuns for Il Papa.