Little Dude Takes A Dump Out Of His Shorts In The Grocery Story Aisle

Ive seen a lot of savage behavior in grocery stores. Especially when theres like a blizzard or a hurricane warning. Goddam supermarket turns into The Walking Dead. Mothers stepping on children to get to the batteries. Grown men knocking over grannies to get to bottled water. Pure savagery.

But this video comes from Russia. And in Russia everything is ratcheted up a billion notches. So when this porky little motherfucker shook a dookie right out the bottom of his shorts I didnt even bat an eyelash. Didnt faze me one bit. He looked both ways like he was crossing the street, thought about it, bent over, gave a little leg shimmy, and left a perfectly tapered shit in the dairy aisle. Unbelievable technique. Usually I do that move when Im trying to unstick my nuts from my leg. This guy did it to let out his dump.

I kept envisioning this little fucker as Colin Farrel’s fat ginger son from True Detective 2. Which is ironic since bullies shit in his shoes. Symmetry, folks. All about shitting symmetry.