I’m a big cereal guy. Always have been and always will be. But, I can no longer be silenced by the sugary goodness of General Mills and Kellogg’s. Someone has to speak out. I know Barstool is a place to come and laugh, get away from the horrors of the real world, but I’d be doing everyone a disservice if I continued to keep my mouth shut. Someone must take a stand.
I’ll be that hero, because 6 dollars for a box of cereal is just too much. It’s much too much.
Where are our MADD-like programs for kids, warning them that if they get addicted to Trix then they’ll be poor and homeless by the time they’re 27? Where is the outrage over Big Cereal using cartoon characters to hook young consumers? It’s no different than Joe Camel selling cigarettes. How about using American heroes on Wheaties boxes to sell their product? Sound like the Marlboro Man to anyone else? “You want to be a great American? Buy this. Then die.” It’s time to wake up, people.
To top it all off, they control the market. General Mills and Kellogg’s run the cereal world. You want another option? Too bad, there isn’t one. It’s like the South Park episode on Time Warner. Well why don’t you just buy another cereal? That’s right, you can’t. Your only option is a 3 pound ziplock bag of nails, named “Fruiti Rings” or “Marshallow Magic” that is no doubt laced with some very dangerous stuff.
So write your elected officials, or something. I’m not really sure how a boycott works. All I know is it’s time for a change, and I’ll lead it.
PS – Top 5 dead or alive, in no order because it greatly depends on my mood: Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Frosted Flakes, Apple Jacks, Reese’s Puffs, Special K Strawberries.