<!DOCTYPE html><html lang="en"><head><meta charset="utf-8"><meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width,initial-scale=1,maximum-scale=1,user-scalable=no,shrink-to-fit=no"><title>Eagles Lose And I&#39;m An Emotionless Shell</title><link rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" href="https://htlbid.com/v3/barstoolsports.com/htlbid.css"><script async src="https://htlbid.com/v3/barstoolsports.com/htlbid.js"></script><script async src="https://www.caffeine.tv/embed.js"></script><script>window.htlbid=window.htlbid||{},htlbid.cmd=htlbid.cmd||[],htlbid.cmd.push(function(){htlbid.setTargeting("pagetype","blog"),htlbid.setTargeting("authorId","11404"),htlbid.setTargeting("Verity_keywords",["absolute pass","game","team","toddler","many times","julio","eagle lose","big game week","ball hawk","big cat","blame chip kelly","el pres","@smittybarstool","thoroughbred jones","welcome"]),htlbid.setTargeting("Verity_IABv1",["IAB17","IAB17-12"]),htlbid.setTargeting("Verity_IABv2",["484","488","483"]),htlbid.setTargeting("Verity_IABv3",["484","483","488"]),htlbid.setTargeting("Verity_positive","0.06"),htlbid.setTargeting("Verity_neutral","0.65"),htlbid.setTargeting("Verity_negative","0.29"),htlbid.setTargeting("Verity_GGT5_conf","VERY_HIGH"),htlbid.setTargeting("Verity_GGT5_risk","HIGH"),htlbid.setTargeting("is_testing","no"),htlbid.pubads().setPublisherProvidedId("PPID-GOES-HERE"),htlbid.layout()})</script><script src="https://d9rde3y35j061.cloudfront.net/script.js"></script><script src="https://htlbid.com/v3/barstoolsports.com/htlbid.js" async></script><script src="https://iframely.barstoolsports.com/embed.js" async></script><style>.union__content{font-family:-apple-system,HelveticaNeue,Roboto,sans-serif;font-weight:400;font-size:18px;color:#5a5b5d;word-wrap:break-word;box-sizing:border-box;padding:0 5px 32px 5px}.union__content p{padding:0;margin:16px 0 0 0}.union__content img{display:block;width:100%!important;height:auto;margin:16px 0 0 0}.union__content video{display:block!important;width:100%!important;height:auto;margin:16px 0 0 0}.union__content .articleAd{text-align:center;margin:16px 0 0 0;background-color:#f5f5f5}.union__content .htlad__container{display:inline-block}.union__content p a{color:#377dc4}.union__content .oembed__wrapper{margin:16px 0 0 0}.union__content blockquote:not(.twitter-video){display:block;margin:16px 0 0 0;padding:4px 12px;border-left:4px solid #77889a;font-style:italic;background:#f0f4f8;text-align:left;border-radius:0 6px 6px 0}.union__content blockquote:not(.twitter-video) p{font-style:italic}.union__content blockquote,q{quotes:none}.union__content iframe{max-width:100%}.union__content .bs-image-hidden{display:none}.union__content div.hq-image{width:fit-content;margin:0 auto}.union__content span.image-attribution,.union__content span.image-attribution a{color:#757575;font-size:12px;font-style:italic;letter-spacing:.1px;line-height:14px;text-decoration:none;padding:0;margin:0}.union__content .bs-videoPlayer .bs-videoPlayer__container,.union__content video-js,.wp-video{width:100%!important;height:0!important;position:relative;padding-bottom:56.25%;overflow:hidden;margin:16px 0 0 0}.wp-video video{width:100%!important;height:100%!important}.hq-image video{width:100%!important;height:100%!important}.union__content .bs-videoPlayer__container>iframe{position:absolute;top:0;left:0;width:100%;height:100%;border:none}@media (prefers-color-scheme:dark){.union__content,body,html{background:#1c1c1c;color:#f1f1f1}.union__content blockquote:not(.twitter-video){border-left:4px solid #367dc4;background:#272c35}}</style><script>window.addEventListener("applicationDidBecomeActive",()=>{document.querySelectorAll(".hq-image video[autoplay]").forEach(e=>e.play())})</script><script>window.htlAdUnitPath="57249056/in-app-iOS/Article-Page_In-Article-Unit",window.htlKeyvalues={authorId:"11404",category:"Philly",tags:[],brandName:null,brandId:0,pagetype:"standard_post"}</script></head><body class="union__content"><p><a href="https://cdn.barstoolsports.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/14/em.jpg"><img src="https://cdn.barstoolsports.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/14/em.jpg" alt="em" width="1600" height="1448" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-368417" sizes="(max-width: 1080px) 100vw, 776px" loading="eager"></a></p><p>I can’t. I just can’t. This team is going to be the death of me and everyone in the Delaware Valley. When they’re on, they’re fucking ON. Unstoppable on offense and absolute pass rushing ball hawks on D. But when they’re off…I just…can’t. Don’t blame Jordan Matthews cause of one dropped pass that turned into a game clinching INT. Don’t even give Cody Parkey heat for missing the go ahead 44 yarder (although if that happens again in these situations he better walk back to Philly). It shouldn’t have gotten to that point. Blame Chip Kelly and Billy Davis for having them WOEFULLY unprepared to start a MOTHERFUCKING SEASON OPENER. Forget about Maxwell playing like shit, HOW MANY TIMES IS JULIO THE THOROUGHBRED JONES GOING TO MAKE YOU YOU’RE BITCH BEFORE YOU DOUBLE TEAM HIM?!?!?! I don’t care about the half time adjustments (which were great), they were ragdolled the entire first half. More tomorrow, but Super Bowl teams don’t start the season in a 20-3 hole and lose in a game they should have won going away.</p><p>I’ll take the L for this one. It was all on my shoulders and I came up short.</p><blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Doing my part for the Eagles by sacrificing this toddler to the Football Gods. "Gotta support the team" – David Puddy <a href="http://t.co/hKAG3XZhTT">pic.twitter.com/hKAG3XZhTT</a></p><p>— Smitty (@SmittyBarstool) <a href="https://twitter.com/SmittyBarstool/status/643541029078081536">September 14, 2015</a></p></blockquote><script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script><p><script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></p><figure class="barstool_oembed barstool_oembed--twitter"><a href="https://twitter.com/smittybarstool/status/643551234465636352" data-iframely-url="//iframe.ly/z6iYXc" data-template="inline"></a><script async src="https://cdn.iframe.ly/embed.js" charset="utf-8"></script></figure><blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">I should have finished that toddler.</p><p>— Smitty (@SmittyBarstool) <a href="https://twitter.com/SmittyBarstool/status/643574988197527552">September 15, 2015</a></p></blockquote><script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script><p><script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></p></body></html>

<p><a href="https://cdn.barstoolsports.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/14/em.jpg"><img src="https://cdn.barstoolsports.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/14/em.jpg" alt="em" width="1600" height="1448" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-368417" sizes="(max-width: 1080px) 100vw, 776px" loading="eager"></a></p><p>I can’t. I just can’t. This team is going to be the death of me and everyone in the Delaware Valley. When they’re on, they’re fucking ON. Unstoppable on offense and absolute pass rushing ball hawks on D. But when they’re off…I just…can’t. Don’t blame Jordan Matthews cause of one dropped pass that turned into a game clinching INT. Don’t even give Cody Parkey heat for missing the go ahead 44 yarder (although if that happens again in these situations he better walk back to Philly). It shouldn’t have gotten to that point. Blame Chip Kelly and Billy Davis for having them WOEFULLY unprepared to start a MOTHERFUCKING SEASON OPENER. Forget about Maxwell playing like shit, HOW MANY TIMES IS JULIO THE THOROUGHBRED JONES GOING TO MAKE YOU YOU’RE BITCH BEFORE YOU DOUBLE TEAM HIM?!?!?! I don’t care about the half time adjustments (which were great), they were ragdolled the entire first half. More tomorrow, but Super Bowl teams don’t start the season in a 20-3 hole and lose in a game they should have won going away.</p><p>I’ll take the L for this one. It was all on my shoulders and I came up short.</p><blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Doing my part for the Eagles by sacrificing this toddler to the Football Gods. "Gotta support the team" – David Puddy <a href="http://t.co/hKAG3XZhTT">pic.twitter.com/hKAG3XZhTT</a></p><p>— Smitty (@SmittyBarstool) <a href="https://twitter.com/SmittyBarstool/status/643541029078081536">September 14, 2015</a></p></blockquote><script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script><p><script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></p><figure class="barstool_oembed barstool_oembed--twitter"><a href="https://twitter.com/smittybarstool/status/643551234465636352" data-iframely-url="//iframe.ly/z6iYXc" data-template="inline"></a><script async src="https://cdn.iframe.ly/embed.js" charset="utf-8"></script></figure><blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">I should have finished that toddler.</p><p>— Smitty (@SmittyBarstool) <a href="https://twitter.com/SmittyBarstool/status/643574988197527552">September 15, 2015</a></p></blockquote><script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script><p><script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></p>

Eagles Lose And I'm An Emotionless Shell

Barstool Sports Homepage

This layout is the Featured section for barstoolsports.com and the Barstool iOS app.

Featured Section

Slot 1

Slot 2

Slot 3

This layout is the home feed section for barstoolsports.com and the Barstool iOS app.

Feed Section

Twitter Finance Influencer Goes Viral For A Feel Good Story About A Pizzeria That He Calls The "Dave Portnoy Effect"

Slot 4

Slot 10

<!DOCTYPE html><html lang="en"><head><meta charset="utf-8"><meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width,initial-scale=1,maximum-scale=1,user-scalable=no,shrink-to-fit=no"><title>Eagles Lose And I&#39;m An Emotionless Shell</title><link rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" href="https://htlbid.com/v3/barstoolsports.com/htlbid.css"><script async src="https://htlbid.com/v3/barstoolsports.com/htlbid.js"></script><script async src="https://www.caffeine.tv/embed.js"></script><script>window.htlbid=window.htlbid||{},htlbid.cmd=htlbid.cmd||[],htlbid.cmd.push(function(){htlbid.setTargeting("pagetype","blog"),htlbid.setTargeting("authorId","11404"),htlbid.setTargeting("Verity_keywords",["absolute pass","game","team","toddler","many times","julio","eagle lose","big game week","ball hawk","big cat","blame chip kelly","el pres","@smittybarstool","thoroughbred jones","welcome"]),htlbid.setTargeting("Verity_IABv1",["IAB17","IAB17-12"]),htlbid.setTargeting("Verity_IABv2",["484","488","483"]),htlbid.setTargeting("Verity_IABv3",["484","483","488"]),htlbid.setTargeting("Verity_positive","0.06"),htlbid.setTargeting("Verity_neutral","0.65"),htlbid.setTargeting("Verity_negative","0.29"),htlbid.setTargeting("Verity_GGT5_conf","VERY_HIGH"),htlbid.setTargeting("Verity_GGT5_risk","HIGH"),htlbid.setTargeting("is_testing","no"),htlbid.pubads().setPublisherProvidedId("PPID-GOES-HERE"),htlbid.layout()})</script><script src="https://d9rde3y35j061.cloudfront.net/script.js"></script><script src="https://htlbid.com/v3/barstoolsports.com/htlbid.js" async></script><script src="https://iframely.barstoolsports.com/embed.js" async></script><style>.union__content{font-family:-apple-system,HelveticaNeue,Roboto,sans-serif;font-weight:400;font-size:18px;color:#5a5b5d;word-wrap:break-word;box-sizing:border-box;padding:0 5px 32px 5px}.union__content p{padding:0;margin:16px 0 0 0}.union__content img{display:block;width:100%!important;height:auto;margin:16px 0 0 0}.union__content video{display:block!important;width:100%!important;height:auto;margin:16px 0 0 0}.union__content .articleAd{text-align:center;margin:16px 0 0 0;background-color:#f5f5f5}.union__content .htlad__container{display:inline-block}.union__content p a{color:#377dc4}.union__content .oembed__wrapper{margin:16px 0 0 0}.union__content blockquote:not(.twitter-video){display:block;margin:16px 0 0 0;padding:4px 12px;border-left:4px solid #77889a;font-style:italic;background:#f0f4f8;text-align:left;border-radius:0 6px 6px 0}.union__content blockquote:not(.twitter-video) p{font-style:italic}.union__content blockquote,q{quotes:none}.union__content iframe{max-width:100%}.union__content .bs-image-hidden{display:none}.union__content div.hq-image{width:fit-content;margin:0 auto}.union__content span.image-attribution,.union__content span.image-attribution a{color:#757575;font-size:12px;font-style:italic;letter-spacing:.1px;line-height:14px;text-decoration:none;padding:0;margin:0}.union__content .bs-videoPlayer .bs-videoPlayer__container,.union__content video-js,.wp-video{width:100%!important;height:0!important;position:relative;padding-bottom:56.25%;overflow:hidden;margin:16px 0 0 0}.wp-video video{width:100%!important;height:100%!important}.hq-image video{width:100%!important;height:100%!important}.union__content .bs-videoPlayer__container>iframe{position:absolute;top:0;left:0;width:100%;height:100%;border:none}@media (prefers-color-scheme:dark){.union__content,body,html{background:#1c1c1c;color:#f1f1f1}.union__content blockquote:not(.twitter-video){border-left:4px solid #367dc4;background:#272c35}}</style><script>window.addEventListener("applicationDidBecomeActive",()=>{document.querySelectorAll(".hq-image video[autoplay]").forEach(e=>e.play())})</script><script>window.htlAdUnitPath="57249056/in-app-iOS/Article-Page_In-Article-Unit",window.htlKeyvalues={authorId:"11404",category:"Philly",tags:[],brandName:null,brandId:0,pagetype:"standard_post"}</script></head><body class="union__content"><p><a href="https://cdn.barstoolsports.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/14/em.jpg"><img src="https://cdn.barstoolsports.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/14/em.jpg" alt="em" width="1600" height="1448" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-368417" sizes="(max-width: 1080px) 100vw, 776px" loading="eager"></a></p><p>I can’t. I just can’t. This team is going to be the death of me and everyone in the Delaware Valley. When they’re on, they’re fucking ON. Unstoppable on offense and absolute pass rushing ball hawks on D. But when they’re off…I just…can’t. Don’t blame Jordan Matthews cause of one dropped pass that turned into a game clinching INT. Don’t even give Cody Parkey heat for missing the go ahead 44 yarder (although if that happens again in these situations he better walk back to Philly). It shouldn’t have gotten to that point. Blame Chip Kelly and Billy Davis for having them WOEFULLY unprepared to start a MOTHERFUCKING SEASON OPENER. Forget about Maxwell playing like shit, HOW MANY TIMES IS JULIO THE THOROUGHBRED JONES GOING TO MAKE YOU YOU’RE BITCH BEFORE YOU DOUBLE TEAM HIM?!?!?! I don’t care about the half time adjustments (which were great), they were ragdolled the entire first half. More tomorrow, but Super Bowl teams don’t start the season in a 20-3 hole and lose in a game they should have won going away.</p><div id="Article-Ad-Placeholder" data-union-ad></div><p>I’ll take the L for this one. It was all on my shoulders and I came up short.</p><blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Doing my part for the Eagles by sacrificing this toddler to the Football Gods. "Gotta support the team" – David Puddy <a href="http://t.co/hKAG3XZhTT">pic.twitter.com/hKAG3XZhTT</a></p><p>— Smitty (@SmittyBarstool) <a href="https://twitter.com/SmittyBarstool/status/643541029078081536">September 14, 2015</a></p></blockquote><script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script><p><script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></p><figure class="barstool_oembed barstool_oembed--twitter"><a href="https://twitter.com/smittybarstool/status/643551234465636352" data-iframely-url="//iframe.ly/z6iYXc" data-template="inline"></a><script async src="https://cdn.iframe.ly/embed.js" charset="utf-8"></script></figure><blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">I should have finished that toddler.</p><p>— Smitty (@SmittyBarstool) <a href="https://twitter.com/SmittyBarstool/status/643574988197527552">September 15, 2015</a></p></blockquote><script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script><p><script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></p></body></html>

<p><a href="https://cdn.barstoolsports.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/14/em.jpg"><img src="https://cdn.barstoolsports.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/14/em.jpg" alt="em" width="1600" height="1448" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-368417" sizes="(max-width: 1080px) 100vw, 776px" loading="eager"></a></p><p>I can’t. I just can’t. This team is going to be the death of me and everyone in the Delaware Valley. When they’re on, they’re fucking ON. Unstoppable on offense and absolute pass rushing ball hawks on D. But when they’re off…I just…can’t. Don’t blame Jordan Matthews cause of one dropped pass that turned into a game clinching INT. Don’t even give Cody Parkey heat for missing the go ahead 44 yarder (although if that happens again in these situations he better walk back to Philly). It shouldn’t have gotten to that point. Blame Chip Kelly and Billy Davis for having them WOEFULLY unprepared to start a MOTHERFUCKING SEASON OPENER. Forget about Maxwell playing like shit, HOW MANY TIMES IS JULIO THE THOROUGHBRED JONES GOING TO MAKE YOU YOU’RE BITCH BEFORE YOU DOUBLE TEAM HIM?!?!?! I don’t care about the half time adjustments (which were great), they were ragdolled the entire first half. More tomorrow, but Super Bowl teams don’t start the season in a 20-3 hole and lose in a game they should have won going away.</p><div id="Article-Ad-Placeholder" data-union-ad></div><p>I’ll take the L for this one. It was all on my shoulders and I came up short.</p><blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Doing my part for the Eagles by sacrificing this toddler to the Football Gods. "Gotta support the team" – David Puddy <a href="http://t.co/hKAG3XZhTT">pic.twitter.com/hKAG3XZhTT</a></p><p>— Smitty (@SmittyBarstool) <a href="https://twitter.com/SmittyBarstool/status/643541029078081536">September 14, 2015</a></p></blockquote><script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script><p><script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></p><figure class="barstool_oembed barstool_oembed--twitter"><a href="https://twitter.com/smittybarstool/status/643551234465636352" data-iframely-url="//iframe.ly/z6iYXc" data-template="inline"></a><script async src="https://cdn.iframe.ly/embed.js" charset="utf-8"></script></figure><blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">I should have finished that toddler.</p><p>— Smitty (@SmittyBarstool) <a href="https://twitter.com/SmittyBarstool/status/643574988197527552">September 15, 2015</a></p></blockquote><script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script><p><script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></p>

Featured

Cities

Sports

Barstool Brands

Sports

Cities

Trending

Advertisement

Eagles Lose And I'm An Emotionless Shell

Advertisement