Donald Trump Writes A Letter To CNN Saying He Is 100% The Reason For The Debate Ratings So CNN Should Donate All The Advertising Profits

CNN - Most of the publicity gimmicks of Donald Trump combine stupidity and offensiveness. Mexican immigrants are rapists; don’t speak Spanish here;deport 11 million people. As the New York Times pointed out last week, no constructive debate found a launching pad from those talking points. The latest from Trumpville is much different. An open letter to CNN Worldwide President Jeff Zucker contains all the Trump bumptiousness mixed with a touch of genius. The premise of the letter comes via Advertising Age, which reported over the weekend that CNN is bagging $200,000 for 30-second spots during the anticipated Sept. 16 Republican presidential debate at the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library in Simi Valley, Calif. That’s 40 times the normal $5,000 charge, according to Advertising Age. In those numbers, Trump glimpsed an opportunity: “While I refuse to brag, and as you know very well, this tremendous increase in viewer interest and advertising is 100% due to ‘Donald J. Trump,’” reads the letter, which contains absolutely no explanation as to why the candidate’s name sits between quotation marks. Accordingly, Trump asks Zucker to view this event as a public service and “not accept the massive profits that this airing will generate.” Should Zucker be confused about where to direct these massive profits, Trump suggests “various VETERANS groups, a list of which I will send to you in the near future.” No explanation, again, as to the capitalization of “VETERANS.” In one missive, then, Trump addresses his vulnerabilities with veterans and takes a nice, square shot at the media.

Donald.

J.

Trump.

All Trump jokes aside, this is a truly, genuinely genius move. On so many levels. Is cocky as fuck. When you’re trying to pull off a publicity stunt, its gotta come across genuine. And this is Consistently Cocky. Thats the Trump Way. The Donald saying he is “100% responsible” for the increase in advertising rates comes across as honest and believable because you know thats something he believes and thinks to be true.

And you know what? So do I. There is one reason and one reason alone that the advertising rates are FORTY times what they usually are, and that’s The Donald. Thats not hyper-bowl. He’s appointment television. Nobody is tuning in to watch Rand fucking Paul and that black doctor. Actually, I’d tune in for that Black Doctor Dude a little bit but its still like 99% Trump. What he’s saying is just a fact. CNN is cashing in on Donald’s stardom.

And then there’s the charity challenges. Charity Challenges shouldnt be banned. That shit is not fair. You can challenge anybody to absolutely anything in the name of charity and if they turn it down they look like the asshole. Its the ultimate….Trump Card *Puts On Sunglasses* YEEEEEAAAAHH. But for real you can be like “Why dont you charge people to watch you light your face on fire and donate the money to children fighting cancer?” and youre the dick if you say no. So poor CNN is completely fucked here. The bash Trump but they’re profiting off him like a motherfucker. And now they got this guy saying “Well why dont you just give that money to all the people who risk their lives for this country?” Talk about a rock and a hard place.

Only one move here, and thats CNN coming back over the top. Thats the only way to handle Trump. Dude is worth 10 billion. CNN should just say “Hey Donald instead of building your next golf course just donate all that money to the veterans?” “Hey Don you’re worth 10 billion, just right a 10 million dollar check for the vets right now.” You cant just demand people give their money to charity and then shame them into it because of bad publicity. CNN should be like “This is America. Supply and demand Donald. We’re capitalizing and the profits will be distributed to the hard working non-Mexicans that work for our company. Its Capitalism at its finest. Thats what makes AMERICA GREAT.”