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K-State Band Director Suspended 1 Game For Deep Throat Blowjob Halftime Performance

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Just a quick update on a developing story we’ve been following closely since Saturday. The Kansas State band leader has, in fact, been suspended, and the squad fined $5K for simulating a deep throat blowjob of a massive dick on the field during the game. The apology claiming the mysterious penis-like figure was actually “the Starship Enterprise” has been thoroughly rejected, and sanctions have been imposed accordingly. We can only hope this prevents our children from tuning in to a fun, competitive college football game and being exposed to a marching band’s reenactment of a hardcore YouJizz scene in the future.

No word yet on if anyone, like the entire team and coaching staff, has been suspended for losing to an FCS team on opening day.