Apparently there was a little trouble in paradise recently with Sabres’ Evander Kane and Mara Teigen, whose Instagram account may be able to put Viagra out of business. The two had a nice little summer together but just a few days ago they pretty much scrubbed each other entirely off of their own Instagram accounts. Pretty sure this since-deleted post sums it up pretty nicely…
#nomoredeadweight is a fucking DAGGER.
Well anyway, like any good breakup, Evander Kane realized he made a huge mistake and had to start breaking all the big guns to get her back. So what does he do? Maybe get her some flowers? Maybe make her a mixtape? Maybe buy her some jewelry? Or maybe just go all the way and put a giant billboard up in the middle of LA.
Now I gotta be honest. Power move? Yes. But somehow simultaneously incredibly soft? Yes again. That “Love Evander” at the bottom is pretty brutal. Can’t blame Evander Kane one bit, though, because he’s done pretty much everything wrong from the get go here and now he has a giant mess to clean up. Because if there’s a premium time to break up with a girlfriend it’s right before the summer starts, not right as the summer ends. He could have had the whole off season to go out there and slay on the regular. Random smoke after random smoke. But now what? Now that the NHL season is almost underway, he’s stuck in Buffalo. And if that Patty Kane story has told us anything so far, it’s that you’re playing with fire if you’re trying to get some in Buffalo. So anyone with at least half a dick knows that he had to get her back. Looks like it worked out, too. So mark that down as a goal for EK who might end up getting 50 this year playing along side Jack Eichel.