A Man Is Bitter At His Ex-GF So He Did The Only Reasonable Thing And Mailed Her 15 Live Baby Chickens

Fox - A D.C. woman found out her ex-boyfriend is still bitter in a most unique– and fuzzy– kind of way. The woman’s ex sent her a box filled with 15 live baby chicks, and a note telling her there are lots of other chicks out there. Apparently, the man packed up the 15 chicks and sent them in the mail– which is not illegal. When the postal carrier delivered the box, the woman said she would throw the box away if it was left there. So, the postal worker brought the chicks to the National Humane Society building. They don’t take animals, so their next stop was the Washington Humane Society, where workers immediately took the chicks out of the box, warmed them and gave them immediate care to make sure they were alright. Then, they started making calls to local animal sanctuaries to see who could take them. The Poplar Spring Animal Sanctuary in Poolesville took them in, and from there, six of them were adopted by a shelter in Winchester, Va. The other nine will stay permanently at the Poolesville sanctuary. All of the chicks were okay, though one reportedly suffered a minor leg injury. The Maryland facility estimates the chicks were about a day old when they were shipped. Appropriately, the 15 chicks have been named. They are Chiclet, Chick Chic, Chick Magnet, Chicka Bang Bang, Chickster, Chickey Little, Chicka Chicka Boom Boom, Chick Chickley, Chicka Wang, Chick-filly, Chickaween, Chicory, Chick Tiki Tavi, Flies with Wind and Javier.

Women as so unappreciative these days. They cry and cry about how chivalry is dead, but then the second you mail them 15 live baby chicks, they lose their god damn minds. Can’t have it both ways, toots! Just goes to show what we’ve already all known- when you’re nice to a girl, she pushes you away. But when you ignore one, she publicly tweets you begging to buy you presents. It’s the way women are wired. And how about this one not even taking care of her new pets? That’s just rude.
 

I love the 15 new names though. Going to try to rank them right off the bat. Using my gut, not thinking too much into it. Don’t think, just shoot, here we go.

15) Chickaween – Name is only relevant a couple weeks out of the year. Bad name.

14) Chicka Bang Bang – Should have been Chicky Chicky Bang Bang. They botched it. Boo. Boo them.

13) Chiclet – This thing is going to grow up and still be Chiclet. That sucks. It’s like if your name is Peter and people call you Petey your entire life. Or if your name is Charles and you’re an adult who hates America who goes by Charlie.

12) Chickey Little – Kind of the same thing, just going to be made fun of as an adult for having a child’s name.

11) Chicka Wang – An Asian chicken? Sounds delicious but foreigners can’t make the top 10, sorry.

10) Chick Chic – Too pretentious for my liking. You’re just a baby chicken yo, settle down.

9) Chick Tiki Tavi – Another botch. Shouldn’t it be Chicki Tiki Tavi?

8) Chick-filly – There’s nothing I really hate about it, but nothing I really like about it either. Is it a play off of Chickfila, my favorite fast food restaurant? If so that’s kind of cruel, you know, naming it after the place where all it’s friends and family members go to die.

7) Chickster – Hilarious and right to the point. He’s the solid friend of the group. Mr. Reliable. The Chickster.

6) Chick Magnet – Obvious but it works. Guy has an ego the size of his dick, and both are huge. Can’t knock it, have to respect it.

5) Chicory – The hippie of the group. I don’t really know what chicory is but I know it’s a hippie thing and that means Chicory is chill as fuck.

4) Flies with Wind – Fucking RIDICULOUS name. Dan Snyder would HATE it.

3) Chicka Chicka Boom Boom – Can you imagine introducing yourself at a bar as Chicka Chicka Boom Boom? Chicken pants would be flying everywhere. Put it in me Chicka Chicka Boom Boom, put it in me!

2) Chick Chickley – PO Box 963. New York City, New York State, 10108. If this bird wasn’t named after the popsicle stick then it doesn’t deserve the 2 spot, if it was, then it’s a brilliant name.

1) Javier – Every time I read every other name, and then one dumb ass chicken is named Javier I burst out laughing. Javier. It’s like when people name their dogs human names. Never not funny. Like, I knew a girl who named her dog Rebecca. Absurd name.