James Cook Wants Everyone To Know He Did Not Shit Himself During Monday Night Football, So Please Stop Saying There Was Poop All Over Pants

So we had another viral possible shit situation. I don't know what's going on lately but there's poop everywhere. We saw this last night, like most people with white shorts during games. You see a little mark and everyone just says they shit themselves. Ole Valentina here screenshotted it 

Pretty damning evidence. But James Cook had to respond, it's only right to defend yourself in this situation: 

Nothing like having to tweet at 9am that you didn't shit yourself on national TV. You're trying to celebrate a win, maybe even taking a morning dump. I can only imagine what a post Monday Night Football game dump is like. But then you see it. Your name is everywhere. Your ass is everywhere. That stain is everywhere. You have to defend yourself. You have to simply say I didn't shit on myself. 

Now all the evidence says otherwise, but you have to take a man's word here. A man's gotta have code. That code is being willing to admit when you shit yourself and defending yourself on Twitter when the world is saying you got poop on your pants. So everyone stop saying it. James Cook did not shit himself, please stop saying it.