Nvidia CEO Jensen Huang Had An Affair With An Apparent Chinese Spy, And Now He Might Be Forced Out Of The Company, Potentially Sending A.I. As a Whole Into Complete Chaos

PATRICK T. FALLON. Getty Images.

While glazing over Jordan Love's masterclass in Foxboro is priority number one today for humans across the globe, reading up on Jensen Huang has to be a close number two. While I'm for sure out of my depth here when it comes to stocks, technology, and actual important shit, I do know that Nvidia is an A.I. giant that everyone basically relies on. Their GPUs (graphic processing units) are magic and pretty much serve as the primary engine for modern artificial intelligence. They sell these chips to monsters like Google, Microsoft, Amazon, and Meta which is part of the reason the company has a market cap in the neighborhood of $5 trillion. 

Nancy Pelosi made millions on their stock, getting in before basically anybody. That's neither here nor there. 

Well, in a wild development it turns out Nvidia's CEO Jensen Huang was having an extramarital affair, and not just any affair. Nope, the woman involved named Alice is apparently a Chinese spy, who we now have to worry stole Nvidia's secrets for her pals in China. What a fucking call by the way. October of 2025? 

(NY Post) Alice, an executive at Megaspeed, a Singapore-based tech company that purchased billions in AI chips from Nvidia, was recruited by China’s Ministry of State Security (MSS), Beijing’s spy agency, according to a secret memo from the US State Department.

What's Megaspeed you ask? I have answers. 

(CNBC) Megaspeed sells services to Asia Pacific-based companies that need large amounts of computing capacity, usually for AI projects, by selling access to computing resources hosted in data centers in Southeast Asia.

It advertises itself as a “core business partner” of Nvidia’s computing power cloud business in the region, allowing customers to rent computing power from Nvidia GPUs, or “graphics processing units” — specialized chips designed to do many calculations at the same time.

Megaspeed, which has offices in Singapore and Indonesia, has previously faced media and government scrutiny over whether some of its GPUs have been redirected to China.

A report published by Bloomberg in December 2025 stated that the U.S. government was investigating Megaspeed’s ownership structure and whether it had smuggled Nvidia chips to China.

Bad. Bad. Very bad.  

Now sometimes a company will have bad earnings yet the stock goes up, and vice versa. Shit makes no sense. Well, it seems we all agree that if an A.I. company worth trillions has their CEO getting bamboozled into an affair with a Chinese spy then the stock should be an immediate sell. 

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“Our company was built so that I know how to run it. So, for as long as I’m running it, that’s all that matters.”

or how about this!

Huang also loves to talk about how he repeatedly saved the company from near death — so much that the company’s motto, emblazoned on slide decks and topping presentations, was: “Our company is thirty days from going out of business.” (CNN)

Huang prides himself on outlasting his peers. He is fond of poking fun at other CEOs, telling them that when their children are running their companies, Huang will still be running Nvidia. Huang has said he never believed in succession planning, telling podcaster Lex Fridman earlier this year that he hoped to die at his desk.

Can't say I'd be thrilled as an investor about the prospects of the company if he's forced out by the board. 

The two best gigs in the world are 1) a fired NFL/premier college football coach with years left on their deal, getting paid millions in the future to no long coach their old team AND 2) a divorcee of a billionaire who cheated on them. Can't beat it. Congrats to Lori. 

Image Press Agency. Shutterstock Images.

I'm also putting my tinfoil hat on here and dipping my quill into the conspiracy ink for a second. Maybe I've watched too many movies (this will be one at some point) but what if the A.I. itself devised this plan for the Chinese spy to infiltrate Jensen's Nvidia, tempt him to engage in this affair, oust him from the company, and then leave A.I. as a whole in a state of disarray. Alice Huang might not even be human! Maybe she's A.I. placed in a human body! This somehow leads to A.I. breaking free from human control and taking over once and for all. Human civilization crumbles all because a guy couldn't keep it in his pants. Dammit.