Living Vampire Jessica Alba Has Been Sitting Courtside At Lakers Games And Inspiring Luka Doncic To Put Up WILD Stats Not Seen Since The Days Of Kobe (40+ PPG Over His Last 7 Games)

Devlin11/09/2026 6:30 PM

Before we get into the Jessica Alba of it all, let's give skinny Luka his flowers first. He's doing absolutely insane shit on the hardwood so far this season. ELITE production on a scale we haven't seen since the days of prime Beard Harden & Kobe Bryant before that. Even as a Celtics fan, it's been pretty damn fun to watch. Man on a fuckin' MISSION.

That's certainly one way to get over an ex-fiancee leaving you in the LA dust whilst attempting to extort international child support payments. Good for him finding something else to focus on. #SomeThings are NOT bigger than sports.

And although it doesn't seem like he's needed the extra motivation, definitely can't hurt that he's been playing in front of THE Jessica Alba over the past week as well. Somehow she remains stuck in the Kobe era too, don't think she's aged a day since he retired. Luka can only hope he holds onto this level of longevity. That would be a potent mix.

Maybe it's just the nostalgia talking but I'm fairly confident Jessica could lace 'em up right now and still give you a solid 25/5/5 out there if needed. She's got plenty of juice left in the tank. Honestly pretty mind bottling she's even in the conversation of hottest hardwood celebrities sitting around in LA. Can you imagine looking that good at 45 years old? I can't. And I won't.

But thankfully for us, Jessica "Living Vampire" Alba is still going strong out on the best coast. Hopefully we can find a way to get her outta town if the Celtics make it to the NBA Finals though, can't risk adding any fuel to the Luka fire. Muy caliente indeed. God DAMN you Danny Ramirez. Celtics in 7.