Everything Is Fine, I'm Fine, The Heat Are Fine

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I'm fine. I'm totally fine. No reason to panic. Who said I'm panicking? Why am I starting to panic? I'm not manic, I mean panic, I mean WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS TEAM DOING. HOLY FUCKING SHIT MAN, I'M TRYING NOT TO FREAK OUT OVER HERE BUT I'M FORTY NINE WORDS IN AND I'M TYPING IN ALL CAPS. FUCKKKKKKKK.

I am begging this team to remember how to play basketball. They don't even have to be elite, they just have to be smarter than a middle school basketball team, that's all. This team pissed down their leg last night in ways I could not believe. I shit you not they looked worse than the Yuggernauts. Tell me how we have guys making eight to nine figures and they're dribbling the fucking basketball of their leg?!?!? BUT YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT'S WORSE THAN THAT?!?!? TELL ME HOW ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH DOES A PROFESSIONAL BASKETBALL TEAM SHOOT FIFTY MOTHER FUCKING PERCENT FROM THE FOUL LINE?!?!?!? I could put Hellen Keller, Stevy Wonder, Ray Charles and Andrea Bocelli on the floor and they could shoot better than that. 

This team could be on the beach, throw a shell and miss the water. The three point shooting has been abysmal. Biscayne Klay... WHERE THE FUCK YOU AT MAN?!?!?!? Giannis can NOT be out shooting you from deep dawg. This shit actually hurts my soul. Tim Hardaway Jr if you're going to wear your pop's jersey than you better start hitting some fucking 3's. 

And BAM ADEBAYO, for the love of God, wake the fuck up. I love you, the city loves you, we all know what you're capable of but this start to the season has been unaccecptable!! You can't dethrone Kobe and then score two points one night and eight last night. It's not enough, this organization hold you to a higher standard than anyone else on this team. We need YOU if we're going to win.

So to answer your question, yes I'm fine. NO, I'm not panicking. The Miami Heat will be just fine.