This Youth Football Dad Might Have Put An End To "Parents Tackle Kids Day" Once And For All

Parents Tackle Kids Day (I assume that's what they call it) at youth football practice is one of the very last bastions of acceptable adult-on-child violence. And this dad might have single-handedly brought it crumbling down like the fucking Alamo. Which wasn't technically a bastion, but I thought that reference would hit harder than "brought it crumbling down like Bastille Day." 

I can see why this dad elected to heave his small child 10 feet through the air. For starters, it's tackle football, damn it. I'm sure when that dad played football, his father would make him run Oklahoma drills vs. his F-150 in the driveway. And look how he turned out? A totally normal, well-adjusted adult. 

A little violence puts hair on a kid's chest. His kid is wearing pads. He's got a helmet on. He came from his father's balls. Let the man parent how he sees fit. On that day, he thought turning his son into a projectile at football practice would serve as a valuable life lesson. 

But more than that… this dad knows exactly how fucked he is. Look at the guy. He's no spring chicken. He's not the fleetest of foot. His lateral movement isn't what it once was. It's over. He knows that any day now he'll wake up and no longer be able to catch his son. Even in the context of an Oklahoma drill where they're both confined to a space no wider than Dad's hips. In fact, an Oklahoma drill is probably one of the few places left on Earth he is still able to get his hands on him. 

His kid doesn't know that yet. Which is why, when given the opportunity, this father needed to make a lasting impression. "The old man's still got it!" (he doesn't). But the memory of Dad picking him up by the waist and rag-dolling him across practice will last years.

In many ways, it was a galaxy brain decision by Dad. At next year's Parents Tackle Kids Day, if they haven't canceled it altogether, he'll be able to say, "I'm sittin' this one out, folks. Remember last year? Ha ha ha. Apparently I don't know my own strength. Ha ha ha. Dad just hits too hard for this generation." 

And he'll never have to risk the inevitable – His kid learns to juke and makes Dad look like a big bumbling idiot. He almost squeaked by him this year. Honestly, had the kid run left instead of right, he might have been in the clear. Give that child one more year of growth, and that dad one more year of red meat and starches… and it's curtains for pops. But thanks to the ferociousness of his child toss in this viral video, he'll likely never have to face that music. Well played, Dad.