Dumping Them Out - College Football (Week 8)

John Rich10/25/2026 8:12 PM

Welcome back to another episode of Dumping Them Out. Back to college football today.

Indiana-Michigan was the worst college football game I've watched in some time. I think. I'm not going to try to defend either team. From start to finish, the whole vibe of the game was "this game is ass." But it did make me wonder – what would a "good" football game between two great defenses look like?

I suppose, for starters, it probably wouldn't feature things like one of the kickers yanking two field goal attempts into the fucking press box.

But surely a game like that is possible. What did that 2007 SEC Championship between LSU and Alabama look like? I was pretty young then, and social media didn't exist as it does today, but were people saying that game sucked at the time too? I feel like it's talked about as if it were this classic defensive battle. I'm gonna have to watch that game again because I'm looking at the stat line, and it's pretty damn similar to the one we were subjected to yesterday. Alabama missed 4 field goals. Fuck it. Maybe I will defend Michigan-Indiana. That game was actually great. YOU just don't appreciate good hard-nosed football. It was a brilliant display of defense. Two of the most impressive defensive performances we'll see all season. We were lucky to have witnessed it. Brandon.

"I'm down for whatever" – the hell does that even mean? Sorry, I get triggered by something Brandon Walker says at least once a week. He's very good at that. But if Indiana isn't good, there are maybe… what? 10 good teams in college football? We can't have a sport where like 93% of the league sucks. That's a miserable way to look at things. The bar for being "good" just can't be THAT high.

But I have to admit, I found it a little funny when College Gameday announced they're headed to Bloomington next weekend for Indiana-Minnesota, after what we all just witnessed on Saturday (from both teams, honestly). The Big Ten couldn't get College Gameday for Indiana-Ohio State, but when P.J. Fleck and his Gophers come rowing into town, that's when ESPN decides to show up.

I wanted to give a special shoutout to the Northern Illinois Huskies. They had the nerve to abandon the MAC. I'm starting to worry the MAC may not be long for college football. I fear Northern Illinois leaving for the Mountain West was just the first of many dominoes yet to fall. But let's check in on the Huskies now. How are things going for them out west?

Ha. Losers.

In other Mountain West news, the New Mexico Lobos have a football team. They beat North Dakota State yesterday. They have votes to be ranked in the coaches poll. And they wore my favorite jerseys of the day.

Great color. New Mexico should really switch up their primary colors all together. Lobos is a great nickname. It's different. New Mexico is a different state (it has Mexico in the name). They should be embracing their Mexiconess more than with a boring black and red color scheme. They should use that teal blue-green color WAY more often. Idk why, but that color screams Mexico to me. I also want to see more of this cartoon wolf they had on their helmet a few weeks back. More teal. More cartoon wolf. More Mexico.

It's a shame the old PAC-12 no longer exists. It would be an electric year for the old PAC-12. I suppose Oregon (and kind of USC) are blowing it, but in some ways that would make the conference even more fun. In today's coaches poll, we have #5 Utah, #7 UCLA, #21 Arizona, #25 USC, and the most fun team of all, Oregon State, is now receiving votes. It could be such an exciting conference. Instead, we have USC out in Wisconsin doing this shit.

It would be really funny if UCLA made the college football playoff before USC. Great for Wisconsin, though. The Big Ten is in desperate need of some depth. I'm desperate for a team like Wisconsin to be good again. They don't even have to be THAT good. Just capable. And so far this year, Wisconsin is capable. They're two spots away from being ranked in the coaches poll. Now if only Michigan State would get their heads out of their asses, the Big Ten might really start looking like the Big Ten again (with a few random West Coast teams sprinkled in).

Great win for South Carolina over Tennessee yesterday, but I couldn't help but think while watching that game, "Lanoris Sellers is going to an NFL GM or head coach fired so hard someday."

Thank god the Colts finally got rid of Chris Ballard. Nobody loved a player with "all the physical tools" more than him. Lanoris Sellers is going to get someone, though. Some poor GM looking to hit a home run is going to have his dick blown off by Lanoris Sellers' size, speed, and arm strength, and it's going to set a franchise back half a decade.

And finally, congratulations to UConn on winning the Southwick Jug Friday night.

Mut… he did a great job getting it there… and I don't wanna besmirch the man for his efforts… but it really seems like he could have that jug in the hands of a player. What player wouldn't accept a trophy handed to him after a big win? That's all we needed. Just one picture of a player holding the jug. But at this point, I'd be shocked if that jug isn't in a dumpster somewhere.