Canadian Tourist Drank "30 to 40 Beers" and Stole a Flamingo From The Flamingo in Las Vegas, Now Faces 4+ Years in Prison

The Guardian – A Canadian man was convicted of animal cruelty charges on Monday for snatching a flamingo named Peachy from its enclosure at an iconic Las Vegas hotel.

Prosecutors said it was a malicious prank while a lawyer for the tourist insisted it was drunken foolishness not meant to harm the bird.

Prosecutors said tourist Mitchell Fairbarn hurt and frightened the 27-year-old Chilean flamingo when he took it from its habitat at the Flamingo Las Vegas Hotel and Casino and carried the squawking bird to his room on 3 March. Defense attorney Josh Tomsheck told jurors at trial in a Nevada court that the man deeply regretted the “bad decisions” he made while intoxicated.

You may have seen this story making the rounds online. The actual flamingo heist happened back in March, but the trial was this month. Meaning footage of the incident surfaced this month. I've been almost blogging it for about two weeks now. For whatever reason, I keep putting it off. But today is the day. Today is Blog The Stolen Flamingo Story Day.

I love Las Vegas. I think it's exactly what it should be. You don't want to be there for too long. You probably don't want to live there. But every time I've visited Las Vegas for the purpose of drinking, gambling, and eating good (but way too expensive) food, I've had a blast. I even had a good time in 2016 when I got scammed... twice. But that's a story for a different day. This is a story about a Canadian man who drank 30-40 beers and stole a flamingo named Peachy.

Of all the casinos in Las Vegas, I think I've spent the most time in The Flamingo. The location is perfect. It's right on the Strip. The table limits are low enough. You can still get hotel rooms for under $100 if you go at the right time. It's nothing fancy, but there's a seedy vibe to the casino that I've always appreciated. And every time I visit The Flamingo, I make sure to pay my respects to the Flamingo Habitat. Because what is The Flamingo without the flamingos themselves? 

I don't think I've ever been 30-40 drinks deep at The Flamingo, so I can't say with 100% certainty how I would behave in that situation. But I bet I've been 20 deep, and I sure didn't feel halfway to a flamingo heist. However, if I did feel so inclined to steal a flamingo... well, there are different ways to go about it. If I were to steal a flamingo, I would do so respectfully. I would enter the habitat bearing gifts (i.e. a tray of shrimp). I would befriend the flamingos. I would attempt to make them feel safe. By the time video of Peachy and me in the hotel hallways surfaced, we would be good pals. I'd be feeding him shrimp. I love animals, so I like to think a video of me "stealing" a bird would be somewhat wholesome.

Ok fine, I know that's not realistic. Flamingos eat brine shrimp anyway. They don't serve brine shrimp at Pinky's Vanderpump. But I sure as hell wouldn't grab Peachy by the throat and swing him around like he's some asshole. The video of this hammered (but honestly not THAT hammered) Canadian tourist could not be more damning. If there was even a hint of playfulness in his actions... or it looked like he was trying to earn Peachy's trust the way you would a dog you're meeting for the first time, he might be in better shape than he his now. Some might even see him as a fun-loving guy who simply wanted to make a new flamingo friend. But the video shows a flamingo in turmoil. A Las Vegas flamingo has never been in greater distress than Peachy was in this moment. 

You don't fuck with animals. Not innocent animals in captivity. That's the #1 way to turn people, especially the internet, against you. He would be better off if he had dragged a man by the throat up to his room. At least a man can fight back. At least a man could have done something to deserve it. But no amount of beers will excuse a person who kidnaps a flamingo minding its own business.

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Anyways, this man, Mitchell Fairbarn, stood trial this month facing charges of animal cruelty. He pleaded with the jury that stealing Peachy was just a "silly pranky joke", and that he's already suffered enough. But the jury wasn't having it. Mitchell Fairbarn was convicted on felony and misdemeanor counts of animal cruelty.

For a split second there, I almost felt bad for the guy. I at least feel bad for his kids. Having to change schools because your dad is going viral for this…

That's brutal. I also feel bad for his father, who on his deathbed was reportedly unable to be with his son, because his son was dealing with the repercussions of this…

It's quite sad, really. But actions have consequences. Sometimes the consequences aren't that bad. Sometimes you get lucky and get away with something you shouldn't. Other times, you get caught pink-handed and shirtless on about 100 different cameras, and the crime is comical enough it becomes national international news (almost forgot he was Canadian). When the victim of your crime is an adorable, defenseless flamingo named Peachy… and you're a tourist in a new city… Las Vegas just might make an example out of you.

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Nevada animal rights advocate John Waudby, who recently helped strengthen the state’s animal cruelty laws, said he believes justice was delivered on Peachy’s behalf.

“I hope this sends a message to anybody else that wants to mess with our animals, that you’re not going to do it in Nevada,” he said outside the courtroom after Monday’s verdict.

The good news is that, for the most part, Peachy is doing okay. Reports say he lost 7-8 feathers, had blood on his wings, and likely experienced pain when he was pulled by his feet. He's also a little nervous around people now. It sounds like Peachy has understandably developed some trust issues. 

As of now, Mitchell Fairbarn is still under house arrest. But on December 1st, he'll return for sentencing. He faces up to 4.5 years behind bars. 

Fairbarn remains under house arrest pending a sentencing hearing set for 1 December. He faces up to four years in prison for the felony and possibly six more months for the misdemeanor conviction. Following the verdict, he declined to comment as he left the courtroom with his wife. He showed no visible emotion.

I'm very curious to see how hard Vegas comes down on him. How much does this Las Vegas judge want to make an example out of this Canadian tourist? How much prison time is stealing a flamingo worth? I guess we're about to find out.