Are You Even A Knicks Fan If You Don't Name Your Newborn Son Knickson Fyve?

No disrespect to the people that spent their entire bank account on Knicks championship merch or got a tattoo the size of their body to commemorate the most dominant playoff run in NBA history. But the Bradfords went belt to ass on everyone else when it comes to being a Knicks fan by actually naming a human Knickson Fyve. They could've went the easy route by naming their son Jalen or getting a dog and naming it Brunson. But they went all in like those legends wearing orange and blue did last spring before coming out on top.

That being said, these parents fucked up big time. Not because they named their child after a basketball team. Far from it. The phrase "Knicks In Five" united the residents of the capital of the world in a time where everyone on the planet is divided. In fact, you can make a case that Knicks In Five deserves a Nobel Peace Prize considering how much it brought the vibes up in a city of millions while the murder rate plunged. Even the name Knickson Bradford sounds totally normal if not super fancy when you say it out loud.

The reason these parents messed up is that their son's name is a Get Out Of Jail Free card for whenever his parents get really mad at him. Because you know what parents do when they are super mad? They yell your full name. You know what phrase instantly floods the brain of every Knicks fan on the planet with dopamine? Knicks In Five. So when little Knickson's parents yell at him for something bad, they are gonna yell "KNICKS IN FIVE BRADFORD", which will instantly flood their souls with all the happy memories from the Knicks run and put out the fire in their hearts from whatever pissed them off in the first place. 

So congrats on the little man on always having an out and the happy couple on the bundle of joy. Most importantly, Knicks in five. Forever.