DUDES ROCK: Jennifer Lopez Now Dating Brett Goldstein From 'Ted Lasso' After He Spent YEARS Hitting On Her In Random Interviews & Literally Wrote A RomCom Movie Just To Star In It With Her. Congrats On The Sex Roy Kent!

Devlin10/22/2026 8:30 PM

Before you go running to the comment section to complain, keep in mind this blog is less of an ode to celebrity gossip and moreso a hearty congrats to a guy who clearly wanted it more than everyone else. Everybody out there has got that special crush in their lives, someone you can simply never stop thinking about no matter how unlikely a real future together may seem.

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Maybe you're good pals stuck in a confusing friend zone, or maybe they don't even currently know your name. But they are real. And spectacular. Judging from all the many moments of Brett randomly bringing up JLo & singing her praises the past few years, his case was a bit of both. Love this clip of him being SO clearly disappointed when asked about her & Ben Affleck getting married again. Authenticity matters!

"Let me tell you, and I don't know how you'll feel about this… I believed that one day I would marry JLo, and after last night when they got married again I was like maybe it won't happen. I don't know anymore… Love is love but sometimes they marry Ben Affleck. But congratulations to them"

But credit to Brett for not letting a little ol' marriage & 20+ year relationship get in the way of his dreams. Because while that marriage was still active, he began scribbling a RomCom script to lure JLo into his hairy lair. Respectfully. And somehow it fuckin' worked!

Also incredibly savvy move by him writing in a beach bikini scene for them to film together. The pen really is mightier than the penis after all. Kudos bars all around for that inspiring effort.

Although when it released in July, it was pretty hard to tell what aspects of their flirting was just for movie PR and what was legitimate chemistry. Either way though, Brett did NOT mess around when trying to impress her. Certainly did his homework on her career too. Who says chivalry is dead huh? Nicely done lad.

Smooth moves & precise shots from Roy Kent there, glad it all paid off for him. And hopefully this is a lesson we can all take something from today. Strip away the fame, money, global access, and what you have left is two flawed yet beautiful human beings choosing LOVE after many years where that seemed like an impossible reality. ONE TIME!

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Makes me wonder what other insane & unpredictable moments still await us on this spinning ball of dirt. Plus dating JLo seems fuckin' incredible. Maybe not for a long period of time… Butt I'm pretty sure even her most ardent hater would enjoy a night out at the ballpark with her. Those hips have NEVER lied. Not once. 57 looks great on her.

So by all means take this lust & likely lube filled inspiration with ya and go shoot a DEEP shot this weekend with your all-time crush. Life is short. Make it sexy. Speaking of which… Jessica Alba do you fuck with lonely malnourished smut bloggers who have a heart of gold & very little liquid assets? Just wondering. God bless Latinas! ~~Until they stab you with a knife~~