Relatable Move LeBron – I've Always Said The Golf Course is The Perfect Place For Birthday Cake

Picture this – You're having a typical mid-to-late 40s birthday weekend. You wake up and have sex with your wife + three favorite porn stars, who she bought for you as whores. As a gift. Then you make your way to the golf course for 18 holes with your best friends in the world. It's a slightly brisk, slightly cloudy day. But there's no rain in the forecast, so weather-wise, it's perfect. The High Noon Vodka & Tequila Seltzers are flowing. You scan the QR code on the side of the box to bring up the Dave Portnoy hologram, so it's like El Pres himself has joined the party with you. 

You're throwing back Noons. Obliterating your lungs with cigars. You're 13-under par through 10 holes. And just when you thought things couldn't possibly get any better, as you pull up to the 11th tee, your best friend drops a big fat birthday cake in your lap. It will go great with the plate of spaghetti you picked up at the turn. 

Pretty weird photo op there, LeBron. He might really be the first person to ever bring a birthday cake on the golf course. You can bring it to the clubhouse, but nobody wants to deal with a birthday cake as they're playing a round of golf. Cake is messy. It's going to get all over your white shirt. It'll give you a tummy ache. It'll slide all over the place when your cart goes over bumps. Where do you even put a birthday cake in a golf cart? Ok, that's a dumb question. As we can plainly see, LeBron James and Usher Raymond have entire teams of cake carriers with them. But the concept of surprising your friend on the tee box with a fucking cake is… dumb. It's not a practical thing any real-life person would do. 

Question – When LeBron James goes golfing, does he just rent out the entire course? Or book every tee time for a 4-hour block? If I were him, that's what I would do, but it's funny to watch LeBron get into golf like a "regular guy", when everything he does on the course is so opposite of what any regular golfer would do. 

I love LeBron. I think he gets an unwarranted amount of hate. However, it still cracks me up the way everything he does is just a tiny bit off. He can never quite land the plane when it comes to being relatable. Presenting someone with a birthday cake in the midst of a round of golf is the perfect example.