Portland Woman Sued Fred Meyer Supermarket for a WHOPPING $36M After a 10/10 Slip-and-Fall on a Puddle
I like to keep up with the world of people who blunder their way into enormous, life-changing lawsuits. It's one of the many American dreams. I think about it every time I'm in New York and walk over a subway grate. I always make sure to put a little extra weight in my step when I'm on top of one. It's like playing a free and potentially very painful version of the lottery.
I suppose it's a multi-step lottery. If you're lucky enough to strike gold in step one (i.e. slipping and falling in a Fred Meyer grocery store), you move on to step two. Which is, "How much money do I try and get out of this?"
That's why I would always prefer to fall "victim" to a city. I would never feel bad suing New York. In this case, Fred Meyer is a little smaller, but I'm reading they were acquired by The Kroger Co. for $13B back in 1998. So they've got plenty of money too. As far as ethical lawsuits go (as ethical as one can be when playing this game), you could do a lot worse than taking money from Kroger.
Maria Torres, the subject of this video, who comically slips and falls in slow-motion, is asking for a whopping $36M. That's $6M for pain and suffering, $2.8M for past and future medical expenses, and just to be safe... $27.5M for punitive damages. Her lawyer says it's the most he's EVER seen asked for in a slip-and-fall case.
As a result of her fall, she says she suffered a concussion that's left her with persistent headaches. Her ears are constantly ringing. She now has balance problems and is sometimes reduced to a wheelchair. Since her tragic fall, she can no longer work her night job cleaning trains and buses. (Aimee Green – The Oregonian)
I gotta say, Maria. I'm on your side. To a degree. I'm on your side in the sense that I wish this would happen to me someday. And I know you're a little bit older, but like... have a little neck control. My goodness. Watch this fall again.
Woof. Sorry, that's probably insensitive. It just seems like there was time to maybe not power slam the back of her skull onto the concrete floor quite so hard. I feel like she could have rotated her body a bit so the ENTIRE force of the fall wasn't absorbed by her noggin. Idk. Who the hell am I to say? I've surely done things equally as clumsy. I once walked straight into a pole on the sidewalk. I wasn't even drunk. It was so clumsy, and so my own fault, I couldn't even blame the city for millions.
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I guess that's why Maria Torres is in this position, and I'm not. Had I slow-motion slipped on a puddle, I'd have stiffened up my neck and walked away with a minor bump on the head. I might have avoided bumping my head entirely. But not Maria. Maria let her neck go limp as a dick in a morgue and woke up seeing dollar signs. All things considered… if the goal is making money… it was a perfect fall. 10 out of 10. Zero notes.
The only thing that sucks about these stories is that they so often end like this.
The Oregonian – The case went to trial in Multnomah County Circuit Court last week. On its sixth day, Monday, Torres and Fred Meyer settled for an undisclosed amount, with attorneys on both sides prohibited from talking about the terms.
Maria Torres succeeded in getting some money. We just don't know how much. I hope she at least got enough to cover her medical bills and retire in peace. That's what slip-and-fall lawsuits are all about. To comfortably never have to work another day in your life. Is that really so much to ask?