I Went to See 'Sons of Legion' at the Orpheum Theatre and Never Expected This. (I'm Not a Hitman)

In mid-September, I saw Sons of Legion at Boston's Orpheum Theatre. I went solo. 

I arrived early, as always, and hung around outside for a while before going in. I had a seat in the second row of the mezzanine with a great view of the whole stage.

When I took my seat, the mezzanine was pretty empty, except for an older woman in the front row, two seats over from me, toward the middle. 

She was tiny, 5 foot 2, just under 90 lbs soaking wet. She was several years older than me, with medium-brown hair that must've been recently colored because I couldn't see any gray roots. She was wearing more formal clothing than the rest of us, and she seemed a little out of place. 

I may've commented on the view from our seats or asked her if she had ever seen SOL before; whatever it was, it broke the ice and started an interesting conversation.

She said she was there alone, mentioning that her late husband had been diagnosed with cancer just days before their wedding 40 years ago, and that their honeymoon had to be canceled. She said he battled cancer until he succumbed to it ten years later. She never had any children or remarried.

I didn't expect her to share that much information during our initial meet 'n' greet, but that was just the beginning…

After I told her my wife had also succumbed to cancer, she realized we had something in common and became very comfortable talking to me. 

She didn't come across as a groupie or even a fan of the band, so I figured she was trying to get out of the house for a while and escape life's realities.

We started talking about getting older, and starting to worry about who would take care of us in the event we became deathly ill. She had no children or family, and I told her I had three kids and hoped one of my boys would step up and take care of me.

Then she turned completely around, and facing me, she said she'd rather have someone shoot her than die in a hospital bed alone.

She paused for a moment, and staring directly into my eyes, asked, "Do you have a gun?"

I was fucking shocked! "No, I don't have a gun!" I replied in disbelief.

Then she asked, "Can you get one?"

I told her there was no way I was getting a gun for the sole purpose of ending her life. She remained silent but kept staring at me…

She was fucking serious! She was hoping I had a gun and was willing to go into a back alley and, with my weapon, end her life!

Then she asked, "Are you sure you can't get your hands on a gun?"

I responded, "No! And even if I had one, I wouldn't use it to kill you. It's not what I do. I'm not a hitman…"

She persisted. "Do you know anyone who has a gun?"

"No!" I said, "And I'm not getting involved in your plan to die."

The seats filled in, and once the music started, she turned around, and I did my best to avoid talking to her again, even during the brief intermission. She needed an intervention or, better yet, a frontal lobotomy.

During the concert, she didn't react to the music or even appear to have any sense of rhythm. I really think she bought a ticket hoping she'd find someone there with a gun willing to kill her…

When the concert ended, she hurried past me without looking up or even saying goodbye.

So much for fucking icebreakers and meeting new people at concerts. Oh, 'Sons of Legion' was incredible!