LeBron James Should Take Notes From This Air Traffic Controller and Commute to Work via Paramotor
Pretty badass, right? That's air traffic controller Jacob Hutzler. He makes fantastic use of his free will by flying a paramotor to work every day. Imagine being depressed when you have a paramotor? You can't. It's scientifically impossible to be sad on a paramotor.
LeBron James is getting ready to play an NBA season with the Philadelphia 76ers. Yet he's living almost 100 miles away in New York City. As you may have heard, LeBron will be commuting to and from the disgusting city of Philadelphia (his words, not mine) via helicopter.
Helicopters are fairly badass in their own right. It's a little dangerous, though. I'd hate to draw parallels simply because they're both basketball players, but it's almost impossible not to think of Kobe every time you see LeBron take off in that chopper. Every time LeBron James wants to go home, he puts his life in the hands of another man. No homo? Couldn't be me.
Ok, you know where I'm going with this. LeBron should get himself a paramotor. That way he can be responsible for his own commute, and won't be forced to wait on a licensed pilot. Better yet, it will do wonders for his image. LeBron will always have haters, but you can't tell me seeing his goofy ass on a paramotor doesn't make him just a wee bit more likable.
Yes, he would have to see/smell more of that rotten, noxious, decaying shantytown of a municipality that is Philadelphia (again, his words), but maybe it wouldn't be the worst idea to throw Philadelphians a bone. Think about how much it would cheer up the good, folded people of Kensington Ave to see LeBron cruise down their street through their homes on a paramotor a couple times a week. If he's feeling generous, he can throw fistfuls of change at them like he's a float in a parade.
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God damn… I haven't used Grok to make pictures in a while. It's getting better. I'm not proud of how much that dumb shit entertains me. There's a whole neighborhood in South Memphis without water now thanks to my LeBron paramotor pictures.
I'm not sure if paramotoring is safer than helicoptering. I'm almost certain it's less safe. But again, paramotorists control their own destiny. If LeBron goes down in a helicopter, he's at the mercy of the pilot. If LeBron goes down in a paramotor, it'll probably look something like this.
That's 3-4 weeks with a cracked rib, at most. Maybe a deep tissue bruise. He'll be back in time for the playoffs.
It's something to consider, LeBron. Your commute will be a bit longer, but you should be able to make it home on a single tank of gas. A straight shot from New York to Philly is less than 100 miles. I'm reading that a good paramotor can take you about 120. Paramotors travel about 30 MPH (faster with wind). Conservatively, I'm thinking it'll be a 3-hour trip.