The Newest And Dumbest Conspiracy In Sports - Vini Jr. Got Cloned This Summer And His Body Double Is Now Playing For Brazil/Real Madrid

Oh fuck yes. Nothing gets me going like a good, dumb sports conspiracy theory. Now, this isn't the first clone one. We had the Matthew Stafford clone last year: 

Only difference is that Matthew Stafford turned into MVP last year. People are freaking out over Vini Jr. because he doesn't look the same and he's not playing well. A little different. Now my favorite thing here is we know why he doesn't look the same: 

This is just the perfect sports conspiracy. It's so dumb, but it's old school at the same time. It's up there with Marilyn Manson's rib. I mean the original clone one was that Avril Lavigne died and was replaced by a lookalike. Those are the dumb things we talked about growing up and still stick with me 30 years later. 

Now we get conspiracy theories all the time. Something goes wrong or you just disagree with something and people scream conspiracy theory right away. We've lost the luster of falling in the rabbit hole of something dumb like this. I want all of Real Madrid and Brazil to be screaming that this is a body double. Why not? I mean the actual people at Real Madrid and around Vini aren't addressing it, obviously, but this is what fans need. You need something so outrageous you start believing it just enough that a couple bad games in a row and you might as well buy into the theory. 

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Vini Jr. should get Stafford's guy. Like I said that clone theory got an MVP. If you're going to be in a clone conspiracy theory, you want it to turn out well. Just a perfect, dumb conspiracy that half the world is talking about. Welcome to life in soccer where one thing goes wrong or weird and they just start screaming you died and got cloned.