Check Out This British Politician Who "Blew His Arse Out" at His Opponent in The Middle of a Meeting

LANCASHIRE – Around halfway into Thursday night’s four-hour council forum, a motion was briefly interrupted by a much louder motion that could be heard on the other side of the town hall chamber.

Fingers were pointed at Reform UK Councillor for Blackburn South East Andy Mahon, who was wearing a distinctive leopard print fedora and matching tie paired with a safari jacket, an outfit which would not have looked out of place in the Serengeti.

While the resounding flatulence was just a brief moment in a meeting that ranged from public questions to monthly updates from the executive, towards the end of the forum one councillor felt the need to speak up.

Cllr Tasleem Fazal, a member of the 4BwD group sitting across the aisle from Cllr Mahon, challenged the behaviour, saying: “What I do take issue with is the decorum in here of late and especially this evening.

He also mentioned the “noise levels” and “silly comments”, but raised his voice to say: “I’ll tell you what I really take issue with: somebody lifting their arse cheeks higher than my mic in my direction, and blowing their arse out like we're at school."

Politics is a nasty business. Blackburn South East is a nasty place. I'm sure of it. Maybe. Idk I've never been. In all probability, I will never go. Google tells me it's actually a fine area with affordable housing, high community spirit, and a moderate crime rate. I'm sure it would be a fine place to live. Quite frankly, I bet it's lovely. If you can't find a way to enjoy yourself in Blackburn South East, that's a you problem. That's the issue with people these days. Everyone is so close-minded. They think Blackburn is full of limey, wonky-toothed, pudding-eaters who do nothing but drink warm beer and bang mash all day. That's what everyone says, but I trust it couldn't be further from the truth. 

So forget everything you've been told about what a "typical Blackburnian" is like. I present to you one of their finest politicians – Reform UK Councillor Andy Mahon.

When you think Reform UK, what comes to mind? Far right? Nationalist? Not flamboyantly homosexual? Well, take that, British stereotypes. Reform UK Councillor Andy Mahon is unmistakably my gay rich uncle who has a second home in the Dominican where he keeps his stable of pool boys. That's no racist, homophobic, misogyni–

LANCASHIRE – Labour boss has called for Reform UK’s candidate in Blackburn South-East, Andy Mahon, to be suspended over a series of social media posts.

They include the use of the ‘n’ word, sexist and offensive remarks about new Green MP for Gorton and Denton and plumber Hannah Spencer, and references to former Labour deputy leader and Ashton-under Lyne MP Angela Rayner being overweight.

The now deleted Facebook posts on his personal Andrew Fishwick Mahon account also include homophobic remarks about health secretary Wes Streeting and posts to suggest Prime Minister Sir Keir Starmer would appoint paedophiles such as Gary Glitter and Jeffery Epstein as ministers.

“In the last photos, he suggests Angela Rayner should take 'fat jabs' and then agrees that she should be given 'jabs to end her life', which is abhorrent and to me illegal."

Aw, damn. Welp, as I was saying… you can't judge a book by its cover. 

I was really hoping Andy Mahon's "undignified" behavior didn't go too much further than farting on political opponents while dressed as Safari Cam Newton. I could overlook one of those things for the sake of a fart blog, but Councillor Mahon just had to stretch a freedom-of-speech single into an in-the-park home run. 

Nevertheless… "blowing your arse out" at an adversary on the council room floor is a near-bulletproof politcial strategy. There's no coming back from that as an opponent who's dead set on engaging in meaningful civil discourse. Unless you have it in you to fart back even louder, you're not winning that argument. 

Although to his highly offended opponent's credit, he did have one decent line in his objection to the mayor.

Addressing the Mayor, Cllr Mahfooz Hussain, Cllr Fazal added: “I was really worried about shrapnel if he gets it wrong.

If only he'd taken it one step further. Something about the incontinence Andy's old, loose, pounded-out ass hole. That would have been a bigger blow. However, Clir Fazal wanted to maintain a degree of professionalism, which I can respect. But respectable politicians rarely make history. Andy Mahon, on the other hand… he graces the front page of Barstool Sports. Checkmate, bitch.