Ripping Off All Your Clothes And Losing Your Damn Mind Is The Only Appropriate Celebration To Beating Magnus Carlsen In Chess
If there's one thing you can say about Magnus Carlsen, it's that he is clearly the straw that stirs the drink in the world of chess. It seems like every time this man catches an L, it becomes a viral sensation. It is either followed up by accusations that his opponent shoved some vibrating anal beads up his ass to cheat his way to victory. Or it ends up with this lunatic from Bulgaria screaming into the microphone for 120 straight seconds while ripping his clothes off.
I don't know anything about this Volen Dyulgerov fella, but apparently he goes by the name "Witty Alien" in the chess streaming world. I don't know where his chess skills actually rank against the best in the world. But this seems like maybe a guy who played a year or two of DIII basketball before dropping out of school ended up playing a game of 1v1 against LeBron, and then won.
You would never shut up about that. You'd lose your goddamn mind. It would be the first thing you told people for the rest of your life. "I beat Lebron 1v1, and oh yeah my name is ______". If a guy like Cristiano Ronaldo can pop his tarp off just for scoring a random goal, then this Volen Dyulgerov cat has every right to blast his nips for the whole world to see after taking down Magnus Carlsen. You beat the best in the world at anything, you should receive full immunity to go hogs out all you want.