Opinion: Airlines Shouldn't Make Women Sit Next To Masturbating Dudes on Flights, Even If There Are No Open Seats
NY Post – A horrified United Airlines passenger claimed her seatmate masturbated on a flight to New Jersey — and the crew forced her to sit back down next to him, ignoring her concerns, according to a report.
The perverted encounter went down on a short flight from Rochester, New York to Newark on Sept. 3, the woman, a 25-year-old pediatric crisis therapist, told NBC News.
The passenger said the man sitting next to her started touching himself while staring at her during the 6 a.m. flight.
She moved away from the creep and reported him to the crew, who allowed her to stand for part of the trip, she said.
But when it came time to land, she said she was told to sit back down next to the masturbator because there were no other open seats.
Fine, I'll be brave today. I'll get on my white knight shit. Somebody at Barstool Sports has to carry the torch for women everywhere.
This could be a controversial opinion, but I don't think WOMEN should be subjected to seating on a flight next to MEN who are MASTURBATING. Even if it's coach. And becasue I'm an equal opportunity knight, I'll say the same goes for men seated next to masturbating women. Men shouldn't have to deal with that either.
To be honest, I'm not sure what the best option is in that situation. If there were no rules I'd say let the woman stand in the back with the flight attendants. Most likely the landing won't be so rough that she hurts herself. But obviously airlines can't allow that. If I were a flight attendant, and I had a woman file this complaint with me, but I didn't have any hard evidence (no pun intended) to bust the guy with (pun intended), I'd at least try to find another single man on the flight to reason with. Just a simple, "Hey sir, I know this is a pain, but this woman is uncomfortable with the man sitting next to her. I haven't seen him do anything, but it would help us out a lot if you switched seats with her for the landing? Yes, that's fine? Great, thank you. Here's a free mini-bottle of Jack Daniels."
Surely they could have found someone. Anything to avoid giving an upset passenger a story to go to NBC News with.
There are two things I've always thought airplanes should have, and I have a hard time understanding why they don't. The big one is security cameras. Why doesn't every commercial airplane have security cameras? Planes should have cameras everywhere. They have them on busses. They have them at intersections. They have them literally everywhere. But any time something happens on a plane, unless a passenger happens to record it from a phone, it's the passenger's word vs the airline's. I'm not saying this particular woman is lying, but we'd sure be better able to form an opinion on the story if we had video of exactly what this guy was doing.
It just seems like security cameras on planes would solve a lot of problems. I don't think anybody would be too mad about team either. There's lots of places I would rather not be recorded, but on a commercial flight with a bunch of other heathens while cruising 500 MPH at 30,000 feet... please... by all means... record me.
The second thing all commercial flights should have is some type of holding cell. It doesn't even have to be a cell. Just one empty seat in the back of the plane that a passenger can be moved to. Maybe even strapped down to. Maybe the seat comes equipped with straps so the flight attendants don't have to use duct tape.
The seat wouldn't even have to be used for "punishment". Having one empty seat on a plane that passengers could be moved to for whatever reason would surely come in handy. It certainly would have helped in this situation.
Except the airlines don't want an empty seat that isn't being sold. Passengers also don't want to be told they can't get on a flight because one seat needs to remain empty (even though it's very reasonable, and I feel like we'd get used to the idea eventually). But maybe they could sell the empty seat as a special seat. You pay a special fee to sit in the spare seat, but must agree to switch with another passenger should a reason arise.
Seems to be a lot of common sense things with air travel that for some reason the airlines don't want to do. Almost like they don't give a fuck, because what the hell are we going to do? Not fly places? Drive 16 hours across the country? Please. They've got us by the tits and balls.
Until then, maybe airlines can be a little more diligent when it comes to plane masturbators. They're out there. They're real. It's like Zara Larsson said – "What's the science behind being hella horny on an airplane? I can't be the only one. I'm about to bark."
There's something about planes that make people dangerously horny. Couple that with whatever else it is about air travel that makes people forget the rules of society in general, and voila. Plane masturbators. Bark.