The Perfect Fix: Mic's Kept Picking Up Joe Burrow Telling Everyone That Getting Sacked By The Texans Popped His Rib Back In Place, Healed His Injuries

So this started to go a little viral on Sunday afternoon. Joe Burrow was banged up this past week, people questioning how severe it was and all that, but he played obviously and was perfectly fine against the Texans. Then again, it's the first couple weeks of the season so everyone beats the Texans during this time. Plus, the Texans offense sucks. 

Anyways, this is about Burrow. Apparently he had this story going all game: 

I get it. Actually, that's a lie. I don't get what it's like to get hit by a man the size of Will Anderson. I don't get what it's like to have your rib popped back in on a sack - joking or not. What I do get is that little fix. If you've ever been somewhat injured and you just happen to tweak it back into place, like popping your shoulder back in or in reality a jammed finger getting back where it belongs - it's up there with cumming as as 1A feeling. You just want that ache to go away. You just want to feel normal again and not feel like you're about to fall over dead. 

It's 2026 and people are all about finding 'new' ways to heal themselves. I'm gonna chalk this up to being that. Do your own research, hire someone like Will Anderson to come lay you out and bam, you're healed. I know Burrow is likely joking about it all here, but Bengals fans gotta be a little nervous. For as good as Burrow is and the 2-0 start, he's still somewhat injury prone. You don't want to hear him talk about ribs popping in and out of place. That said, maybe it worked. Maybe Burrow is magically healed by getting blindsided. You never know.