MOUNTAIN LION ON THE LOOSE IN SAN FRANCISCO!!!
Fucking blue states. They can't get anything right. San Francisco's homeless problem is as bad as anywhere in the country. And by the grace of god, a perfect a solution falls right into their genetically engineered laps. But what do they do? They shoot the solution full of tranquilizers and haul off it to a zoo. Or back up the mountain. Or put in on a bus Sacramento. Whatever it is San Francisco does with their "unwanted residents" these days.
I'm only joking about solving San Francisco's homeless problem by unleashing mountain lions on the community. But honestly... no, no, no. Never mind. That would never work. Mountain lions are more scared of us than we are of them. If anything, it's the homeless community who has the bandwidth/general scent to relate to a wild beast. You can't tell me that this man:
Michael Putland. Getty Images.Hasn't eaten enough mushrooms in his life to connect with mountain lions on a spiritual level, to the point that him and his new lion friend couldn't co-exist on the streets of Haight-Ashbury and make enough money sitar-busking to live happily together in the back of this van.
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I do suppose his mountain lion will eat him eventually. You can only watch your human companion smoke so much weed, while you're desperate for so much raw steak before you eventually snap and rip him limb-from-limb. Come to think of it… maybe that is the solution. Every homeless San Franciscan is gifted one mountain lion "for protection". Give it five years. See if your homeless problem isn't solved (and replaced by a significantly more exciting mountain lion problem).
Am I the only one who was halfway cheering for the mountain lion to turn and make a run at one of the camera man here?
I'm sorry, that's rude. I appreciate the camera men. If it wasn't for the camera men doing real work documenting the incident, I wouldn't be able to blog about it for my fake job. They're basically heroes in my eyes. But they can't be making Animal Control's job any easier.
Good job bringing the mountain lion to justice, I guess. I wish things happened like this is boring ol' Ohio from time to time. The most exciting wild animal encounter I've had here in Columbus was when this bright yellow bird landed next to me
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And I'm pretty sure that was just someone's pet parakeet.