Bruce The Bison, Mr. Brightside And Ryan Fitzpatrick Through A Table - There Was Never A Doubt The Bills Would Kick The Lions Ass

Obviously last night had a ton of hype. Between the new stadium, the expected shootout and the fact we were supposed to get a good game, people were fired up. Also, we're dumb. Forget the Lions defense being dogshit or Josh Allen being the best football player in the world. You see that bison? It was over the moment that showed up. You can't have Bruce the Bison (great name), be born with the stadium and hang out in a zubaz cage for a little bit without an ass kicking on the horizon. 

You know how pissed Dan Campbell had to be? He brought up having a lion with him a couple years ago. He got told no, now the Bills get to have a bison. Need Bruce the Bison to come back when he's full size. Strike the fear into anyone walking by. But then you keep looking into what was going on at the stadium.

Ryan Fitzpatrick, man of Buffalo, through a table? Yep. 

Then you had Josh Allen. Between him toying with the defense 

He had one of the sickest edits a quarterback can have

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Come on, now. I know it's 2026 and we get all these angles, but that's as cool as it gets. That's just 'yeah I'm fucking awesome at football and married to a famous smokeshow and get to hang out with the boys.' Must be nice, Josh. That's probably why he went for 5 touchdowns and just made this game not even close despite the score. And obviously they had to celebrate with Mr. Brightside 

What a night in Buffalo. The stadium looked awesome, especially with the red end zones. That's the Bills stadium I grew up watching on TV and how it should be. We all should have known it was over before it even started and that's before remembering how dogshit the Lions defense is.