Chris Hansen is Fucking Pissed About Hollywood's Portrayal of Him in 'Primetime', Movie That Follows Chris Hansen's Life During The Height of 'To Catch a Predator'

God damn it, Chris. I really wanted to "like" this movie. Although "like" seems like a weird word to use. It feels weird to say that I'm "looking forward to" a movie about pedophiles. Even if the movie is about catching them. It's an intriguing story, but the subject matter is as dark as it gets. 

Still... I was looking forward to a movie about the life of Chris Hansen in his 'To Catch a Predator' days (as portrayed by Robert Pattinson). I wanted to get a big ol' bag of popcorn and cheer for Robert Pattinson to bring disgusting predators to justice. And like all movies that are based on a true story, I wanted to blindly enjoy it under the guise of "Yep. This is definitely how it all went down."

But if Chris Hansen is this fired up about the way he's being portrayed... well god damn it, Hollywood. Now I have to be skeptical. Were the predators even real? Did Chris Hansen ever really make them have a seat? Based on the way Chris Hansen himself talks about the movie (which he admittedly hasn't seen yet by the way), I have half a mind to think pedophiles might be a myth.

Just kidding. Here's what Chris Hansen said to The Hollywood Reporter

The Hollywood Reporter – There wouldn’t be a movie if I hadn’t created the Predator investigative series, so that would not be possible without my work. Robert Pattinson has said that he hopes the movie adds to my legacy, and I appreciate that.

But you still have something that is a complete work of fiction attached to a real name. Based upon what I’ve seen in the trailer and my understanding of what has been written about the film, they wanted to create something much darker and way more dramatic.

I think it’s an insult to the thousands of men and women who work hard every day to protect children from predators. They turn something that is very positive, very challenging and not without risk into what is essentially a horror film.

I guess it’s not surprising that a Hollywood studio would act in such an exploitative or predatory manner. We’re talking about an industry that was led by perhaps one of the biggest predators to walk the planet, Harvey Weinstein. They’ll all pat each other on the back and say, “What a great job. This is really dark and mysterious and intriguing.”

But at the end of the day, it is a completely made-up work of fiction. Why would they not contact or consult me? Because they don’t care about the real story. And the irony is that the real story is pretty darn dramatic on its own. – Chris Hansen 

Hollywood is exploitative. Hollywood is predatory. They made a horror movie. It's a complete work of fiction. Harvey Weinstein. Strong words from the very man whose life is being portrayed in the film.

But I gotta say, Chris… after reading your takedown of the movie, I kind of want to see it even more. The more I think about it, I think I know the 'To Catch a Predator' story well enough. I don't know if I ever sat down to watch an episode in real time, but I've seen the clips. Predator walks in. Some poor girl they hired as bait welcomes him with a snack. Then she GTFO's the kitchen so Chris Hansen can pop in and tell him to have a seat. The show lasted 3 season. It was 20 episodes. One of the predators killed himself. He shot himself. In the head. Bam. Dead pedophile. 

Chris Hansen calling it a horror film though… now that's interesting. A horror movie about pedophiles… Very dark… Very intriguing…

What I would really like to do, which is something I've always wanted to do with movies "based on a true story", is watch it side-by-side with Chris Hansen himself so he point out all the stuff they got wrong. Now that would be interesting.

Speaking of pedophile suicide. I thought about blogging this last week, but it was just too… unsettling. Did you see that ex-NFL player (Alphonso Smith Jr.) who killed himself, seemingly because he was a pedophile? Idk if that's confirmed, but reading between the lines, that's what happened here right?

I mean what are we supposed to do with that? Celebrate it? Give Alphonso Smith Jr. a posthumous pat on the back for ridding a predator from this earth? Idk. Whatever conversation is to be had in regards to the Alphonso Smith Jr. incident is not meant for www.barstoolsports.com. That's arguably the darkest end-to-a-life I've ever seen. 

Anyways… there's a movie coming out about the NBC show, 'To Catch a Predator'. It's based on a true story. It stars Robert Pattinson. But the person Robert Pattinson portrays is calling the movie a complete work of fiction. At this point, the makers of this movie might as well go back and juice up whatever scenes they can. You've already got Chris Hansen calling the whole thing fake. To me that sounds like a green like to make it as entertaining as possible. Truth be damned.